Update on David

Well we have some news on David and he would like to tell it to you himself.
(If you get the email you are going to have to click on the blog to watch it.)



If you want to see the longer interview with David you can watch it here

As far as Julie goes, her post-delivery issues have not been noticed for many weeks and the Stratus which was stolen around Memorial Day is up and running for less than what we were initially told, $600 instead of $1,000.

Tonight, the Zilkies sleep in peace. Thanks for you prayers and especially for David. This has been huge for him and his spiritual journey.

100 Days Update - Day 76

It has been over a week since I posted. Things got busy here over the holiday. We will have an update on David's hip and well being in the next couple days as well.

After 76 Days how are things going?

• We are still looking for a permanent home, but enjoying our time on Gresham and our neighbors. David, Jonathan, and Caroline all are making friends and engaging the neighbors on our side of the road and even across the street. (I am not sure how that is happening).


• Things at Rooftop are going well. I am meeting with the ministry team leaders and small group leaders and starting to get in a groove. I have spoken twice at the weekend service so far and will be back up again in August.


• I am enjoying getting to know Jason and Matt, my coworkers here at Rooftop. They both have neat families and we are planning a staff family day next week which will be a ton of fun.


• I am doing well spiritually as well and have found several kindred spirits to meet with and pray together on a regular basis. This is so important for so many reasons and is something I did not have at my last church.


• I am really enjoying seeing God at work in the lives of my Rooftop family. Hearing about God's working in their lives and hearts on various levels, challenging them to a more fervent pursuit of God on a narrower path, energizes me every single time.


• Update on David and the family and our previous struggles later this week...

Thank you to all of you who read, follow along, and pray for us here in St. Louis.

Here is a little reminder of God's love for you and for me...enjoy and peace of Chist to you...

"The Light Shines in the Darkness"

I taught this past Sunday, July 5th; the 3rd message in a 13 week series on 1 John called "Summer of Love". The passage I taught from is 1 John 1:8 - 2:2 (5 verses). Click the title to listen: "A Light Shines in the Darkness"

You can check out www.rooftop.org for the previous 2 messages...

Facebook, Irony, and the Brink Family

I don't know if I am different than most people, but I remember incredible details from my childhood and very specific events and thoughts I had during that time. Facebook, for those of you who are on it, has opened up a new door to reconnecting with all kinds of people from our past. Many people find this exercise a waste of time and energy. I find it somewhat nostalgic and also enjoy reflecting on who I was as a child and what I thought about people and the world. This is especially significant as I am now grown and have five children of my own who look at people and the world much differently than I do at 34, and yet I see how significant and formative the childhood thoughts they are having today can and will be.

One example of this is my reconnecting with a bunch of people whose families attended the church I went to when I was young. Growing up, my church was most of my life and I viewed all of my church family very highly, even if I didn't know them. Many of the people I am connecting with were older than me by 3 to 6 years and knew of me, but more likely knew me through my sister Heather who is almost 5 years older than me. What they don't know is that as a child I looked up to the older kids very much and held them in a very high regard. Even today as I connect with them through Facebook, I feel an affinity with them that they don't necessarily feel with me. I am the brat kid brother of Heather ...which sadly was true on many accounts. Yet, this connection from my youth is still important to me and I appreciate the opportunity to interact with them, feeble and shallow as it might seem.

Then there are the important people from my youth, one of whom I just connected with yesterday through Facebook. Growing up I did not spend much time in my home unless I was watching TV or playing video games. Mostly, I was wandering about my hometown of Romeo, Michigan on my bike, filling my days with whatever. During the summers especially, I was always looking for things to fill my time. Somewhere along the way I met the Brink family who lived just three blocks away. Their dad was a minister in the Southern Baptist Church, and had been assigned to the church in our town. They were a "large" family with five kids from somewhere down south, had accents we made fun of from time to time, and they didn't have a TV. No doubt about it...they were weird...or so I thought.

Mr. and Mrs. Brink were very stable and solid people. Mrs. Brink was very generous and kind and who knows how many meals I mooched off of them and her over the years. Eric, who was in my grade, and his brothers would join me in all kinds of imaginative games and make-believe...you know, stuff kids should do more of these days. We formed clubs of various kinds that met in the back of our crazy garage/barn which used to be a "chicken coop". We played football, baseball, kickball, and many other sports games together. Some mornings, I would be over to their house before they had breakfast. They were a great family and their home was a good place for me to dwell as a child. God definitely placed them in my adolescent life for a purpose I would not see until all these years later.

Sadly, as I grew older and succumbed to the peer pressures of junior high and trying to be cool (which I wasn't), I began to scorn Eric and their family. Because they were different, and by different I mean kind, unified as a family, respectful to their parents, and less affluent, I decided I was better than they were at some level. Ironically enough, my junior high years were very lonely and sad years in my life, as I felt disconnected from family, friends, God, just about everyone. Adolescence can be such a hard time, and especially if a child has no trustworthy source to talk with and help guide them through, and even then it is still filled with challenges. I reconnected with Eric a little through morning basketball in high school but never really reengaged him nor his family again. We graduated from high school, their family moved away to a new assignment out west and I never saw them again, but thought of them from time to time over the years.

Then Eric shows up on Facebook this week and my mind wanders back to all the memories and childhood events that involved him and his family in my life. What was "weird" to me back then is now my life...five kids, a TV that is rarely used in our home, a choice to live less affluently, and my serving as a pastor...just like his father did. Even as I write this, I am amazed at what has transpired and how we are the Brink family, except that our accent is more nasally than theirs was. I will forward this link on to Eric and his siblings and ask that he forward it on to his parents as well. They should know of the impact their home and ministry had, albeit abstract and unknown to me at the time. I am so thankful for the "different" family that lived on the corner of Benjamin and Main Street next to the old white church in town. I hope that we Zilkies might be a refuge to a young "Jeremy" out there, who needs a safe and loving place to rest and receive the unconditional love of Jesus, even as their world is filled with challenges and dangers they aren't quite sure how to navigate.

A Good Day

Yesterday was a very full day for me and a very good one as well. Let's recap...

Early Sunday morning Julie left on a trip back to Michigan to see my sister, brother-in-law, and their newborn daughter, Ruby...their first child. We had hoped to see little Ruby before we left, but God's timing in bringing us to STL did not coincide as she was not born until June. We are so excited for Katie and Kent and I was thrilled to see Julie go and spend several days with them. Katie and Kent have been a great aunt and uncle to our children. Our other siblings, my sister Heather and Julie's sister Jodi are good aunts, but have children of their own and lived some distance away from us when we were in Grand Rapids. Yet Katie and Kent regularly made the trip out to our home and blessed us each time they came. The fact that they did not have children of their own increased their flexibility for sure. Now that they have their first child, we are sad that we will not be able to shower them with love and support in being the great aunt and uncle they have been. They are going to be great parents for sure!!! So we sent our Zilkie ambassador, namely Julie and her attendant Selah, on a three day trip to Detroit.

The other positive is that Julie can use the break as she has been stretched thin these past couple months since moving into a temporary home here in STL. She is doing great and taking great care of our home, but this time away for her is good. In the meantime, I get to watch our four oldest by myself for three days...which is a blast. Sunday afternoon we made pasta with butter and Parmesan cheese...and a slice of buttered bread. Not fancy, but a perennial favorite with the kids...and a meal that Julie would never dream of serving. In fact David said that it was his "favorite noodles". Sometimes simple is best. Then this morning we were up, fed, and at the zoo by 8 a.m. There was nobody there and it was great. We saw the penguins and puffins, touched the stingrays, walked through the bird sanctuary, reptile house, monkey house, and insectarium. We had 2 full hours of zoo fun and were out of there by 10 a.m. when the crowds started showing up. Also, David and Jonathan watched Star Wars for the first time yesterday afternoon. Then today they watched Empire Strikes Back for the first time and they want to finish off the trilogy tomorrow afternoon with Return of the Jedi. They are mesmerized by the movies, the larger than life characters, and they remind me of what it was like to watch those films when I was a child when they were first released. It has been a very cool time.

The second thing that was special yesterday was being part of a baptism for a neat woman and sister in Christ named Claire. Claire is the fifth child in a family of 17. Her mother Rita gave birth to 17 children in 20 years and did not have any multiples. Pretty amazing. Claire is now in her 50s with three grown daughters of her own and has a beautiful faith in God that only really took hold about three years ago. Claire grew up in a strongly denominational church-going family. Her parents were amazing people and sought to impart their faith into the lives of their children as best they could. However, with 17 kids, odds are some might not "get it" from the start. Well with many of her family and friends present yesterday, Claire got up in the service and read the story of her spiritual journey. It is a beautiful one. Her eldest daughter is the one who actually pursued her heart and was the lynch-pin for her finally seeing and believing in Jesus for herself three years ago. Not only that, but Claire is now heavily involved in the life of Rooftop and in the lives of her three girls as a loving and godly mother and grandmother. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversations as we talked about her spiritual journey and what she wanted to share before being baptized. The water in the baptismal was cold, but the warmth of support and love in the room from Rooftoppers, her family and friends, and the blessing of God's presence more than made up for it.

Finally, I met with a bunch of Rooftoppers who volunteer their time and energy to serve our church community. We are planning a big fall serving event that will hopefully accomplish much in line with God's will for our church and for our community. There are more details to come, but it will be successful because of the great servants and volunteers God has placed at Rooftop.

Yes, yesterday was a good day. I continually get excited to think of the many like it that, Lord willing, are yet to come.

Trusting God

As Julie and I continue to settle into life here in St. Louis and at Rooftop we often find ourselves reflecting back on our journey in getting here. The other day we both looked back on all of the churches where we applied to throughout 2008 and the numerous ministry positions which we made the final 10, final 5, and on several occasions the final 2 or 3. Yet at each point we were told, "sorry, we are going in a different direction." I remember the feeling in my gut when I heard that after months of pursuing each of these different positions, once again this was a closed door. We got used to, and even pretty good at being rejected with grace and also with inquisitive questions as to what we were lacking.

There was a church in Grand Rapids which we were one of the final 3 candidates and getting all the right signs from them. It looked very promising after our on-site interview and we were getting quite excited and then a week later...they went silent. Our family attended their service that weekend and the previous enthusiasm we had seen had been replaced with a polite "hello" followed by a little awkwardness. A week later we hear that they had gone with the dark horse candidate who took the interview process by storm and ultimately took the position.

There was another church in the Houston area that we traveled to for a formal interview. It was between me and an older gentleman. The church had a choice of the younger, passionate, and somewhat "risky" Jeremy or the older, established, stable (other guy). We had a lot to offer that church and community in connecting better with younger people and families and I thought we were going to get that offer. In fact, although Julie wasn't sold on the church I kept telling her that if they offered us we should accept. However, if I am honest, I was saying "yes" for many of the wrong reasons. We would have been repeating some of the problems we faced at our previous church that were related to how we "fit" with the church culture, and yet I was feeling desperate. It was pretty much a coin flip and they chose the other guy. You can only wonder what would have happened had they said yes and how different so many things would be.

Through the help of a ministry "head-hunter" I was put in contact with a church in Pennsylvania and the position that they were describing seemed a perfect fit for Julie and I. More interesting is that there were no other viable candidates who passed the first couple rounds of interviews and vetting because of the specific requests and requirements of the ministry position in question. We were a shoe-in and very excited to move to the Philadelphia area. Then, they had some Senior Pastor developments and in the process of working those out and hiring their current pastor, they ceased the search for the position we had been pursuing for several months. So close and yet...

There was even one church in Tennessee who after speaking with their two lead pastors decided that they were going in a different direction as well. When I asked them about other candidates and what they had found, they said, "oh, there are no other candidates, we just don't feel like you would be a good fit." Ouch! I had been rejected before, but at least someone had bested me for the position...in this case I lost out to nobody which is much worse.

But it was after the Houston visit in November that things changed for me and for our family. Around Thanksgiving God convicted me of some sinful thoughts and beliefs of mine that were rooted in fear and lacking faith. This was very startling to me as I realized it and led me to fast for an extended period of time in hopes that God would straighten me out. After the fast, heading into 2009, everything had changed. My heart had been renewed and Julie and I had been freed from the process of looking for a church. We were now down to one ministry position (Rooftop) and had decided that if Rooftop didn't work, God was closing the ministry door. In addition to that, I was no longer desperate to get back into vocational ministry. If Rooftop didn't work, then into the marketplace we would stay and likely move back to the Detroit area.

Yet, God had a plan and we had been given freedom from the Holy Spirit. Freedom to say "yes" or "no", based on what God wanted and not what we "needed" to transpire. It was a much different process for us which led to a little drama in the final weeks of the interveiw process here at Rooftop before being offered the position. In our desire to walk this different path, we made some contrarian decisions which contirbuted to the previously mentioned "drama". Ultimately, God is faithful and worked it out for His glory as we authentically sought to seek and obey Him. He can be trusted. The real question is, to what lengths will we go and what will we give up to show our trust in Him?

Family Update

There is a reason we call him among other names..."big face"




Julie taught David to read last fall and he has really taken off and is doing so well. Since then Jonathan has wanted to learn and Julie told him she would teach him this fall. He did not want to wait. Between his own initiative and David's tutoring, Jonathan is teaching himself to read and is doing quite well. Here is a picture of a very common occurrence in our home...the boys combing over a nature book and memorizing all of the zoological information inside as David helps Jonathan read and access the "vital" information on the pages.


Our three little ones hanging out in the rocking chair.


Little girl is starting to grow up...adorable indeed!


Climbing the neighbor's tree. We love our neighborhood!!!

Reality Check

Ever since joining the Marines at 18, running has been a part of my life. Although never a great runner, I have been a strong runner and have loved the challenge of competing against my fellow Marines at the various levels of physical training we would be required to do. In order to excel at my Physical Fitness Tests, which were considered in my promotions, I would go out and run on my own. Some of my favorite runs were the hard runs up various hills, and specifically a hill called "KT or Kansas Tower" on the Marine base in Hawaii. This was the highest point on the base, not counting the rifle range, and from it you can see much of the windward side of Oahu. This hill would separate the runners from the pretenders by seeing who could make it up the whole way without stopping? I loved this hill and I loved the challenge of getting to the top without stopping. I loved the challenge of racing against the guys in my unit to be the first to the top and I sometimes was. It definitely fueled my competitive fire.

Here is the view from the ocean...


And here is the view from Kansas Tower looking out over the golf course into the Pacific Ocean. (I don't know the gentlemen in the picture, sorry...)


Well, that was 12 years ago, and here in St. Louis I am beginning to face the reality that everyone faces as they grow older. I have mapped out a 3 mile run here in South Hampton where I live that starts at my house and goes out and around Francis Park and then back to our home. I have now run the course four times and I still have not been able to complete the 3 mile run without stopping, yet...

I will get to the point soon when this run is really no problem. However that day has not yet come and it is definitely taking longer than it ever has before. Tonight, talking to Julie I realized I am getting older. Being 34 is different than being 24. Although in my mind I am still that 20 year old Marine running up Kansas Tower, my body is telling me something different. I must be patient and allow my 34 year old body to adjust and adapt to what I am asking of it. This is a hard reality to accept.

One of the things I do love about running is the pain and discomfort is causes me, as strange as that sounds. I find that when I am hurting and uncomfortable I am much more focused and fervent in my conversation with God. Recently my prayer has been, "Oh God, please give me self control the next time I want to stuff my face with dessert and help me to remember the price I am paying now for that dessert I just had and the one in the near future." But as this fades and running gets easier, I hope and plan to pray for my sharpness of mind and spirit and also for the neighborhoods and the streets that I am running. Julie and I really want to bloom where God plants us, and we want to be a blessing as God has blessed us.

Physical exercise has always been helpful and a beneficial component of my spiritual life. Moreover, Francis park is such a beautiful park to run around and the neighborhoods of South Hampton are beautiful neighborhoods. We really are blessed here on Gresham and want to live life to the fullest today. Even as we look to buying a home in the near future, we do not do so without considering God's desire for us here. We love being neighbors and learning to love our neighbor as ourselves. This is the second greatest commandment after all, right? That was my prayer tonight as I closed up my run, "Father, teach me to love as You love." That is who we are as Christians and followers of Jesus Christ. We are God's ambassadors of love. In spite of my pain and discomfort from the run, this truth was the greater reality check.

Update on David, Julie & the Car

For those of you following along with our life via the blog, you know the past several weeks have been very intense to say the least. In a matter of days our car was stolen, Julie had some major health concerns related to Selah's birth, and David had severe pain in his hip without a fall or accident of any kind.

In response to all of this, we prayed and many of you prayed...and this evening we have a very positive update.

Julie saw a doctor and although there is a small piece of the placenta remaining, her health and iron level is high enough for them to be patient and see if things correct themselves in time. Along with that her bleeding has diminished and there has been no trace of blood for 5 days now which is very encouraging.

The car has been cleaned, the console fixed, and is operable again. There is no radio and the A/C was damaged slightly, but it is running well and for half of what we were told it would cost.

We are most thrilled for David, who after being prayed for last weekend at our church's worship night by several leaders and an elder in the church has his pain diminish over the weekend and has been completely pain free for several days. We have a follow up doctor's visit in July where the X-rays will tell us of any bone deformation, but for the time being things look and David is feeling good.

I am being reminded to ask God fervently in prayer for that which He has laid upon my heart. Sometimes I just "trust" God and assume He will do what He will do. Yet, this is not God's complete desire for me because He wants me to pursue Him and to keep pursuing Him. Ironically, Jacob wrestled with God in the book of Genesis and would not let go until God blessed Him. Finally, after a long night, God gave in and blessed Jacob. Yet, he touched Jacob on the hip and gave him a limp as a reminder that He had wrestled with God and won.

I don't know if we are completely out of the woods yet...we will see. I do know that God is "marking" this journey for David, for Julie and for myself. Today, David felt great and played chase with his brother Jonathan and sister Caroline. They had a blast and for that...today, we give thanks.

Looking For A Home

Since we arrived in St. Louis on April 29th, Julie and I have been looking for a home to permanently purchase and move our family into. Our life has not stopped, nor even settled with all of the events and occurrences that have taken place. Yet, we know that our current home is just temporary while we look for a place to land for years to come.

We want a home big enough for our growing family, a kitchen where Julie can work her "magic", and also a home where we can invite friends and family to come and stay with us for days at a time. Julie wants to buy a house that will fit comfortably in our budget and not overextend us, I also want to protect our budget, which we work very hard to maintain, but am willing to risk more for value and a good investment as well. We tend to come at this process from two slightly differing points of view.

We are now in our 6th week of looking for a home and haven't felt a peace about one yet. Some Julie has liked, and some I have liked, but we are not going to proceed with a home until we both agree and have peace that "the home" is what we desire and can honor God with. Most importantly, as we look at all of these homes and make these major life decisions, we try to remember that what makes a home is the lovingkindness and joy within the walls and not its size, location, or the interest rate you are paying on the mortgage. Presently, mortgage rates are going up and the days of 5% are probably long gone. How should this affect our search for a home??? It shouldn't!

It is so easy to fall into the pressures of American life: having a real nice home, paying the best rate, not missing the opportunity, and so on. Honestly though, that is the "tyranny of the urgent" and will never bring the peace and joy into a home that makes the home the special place it is supposed to be. Honestly, I feel some of that pressure to act quickly and you know what? Shame on me if I give in. Our God does not deal or depend on good interest rates or resale value in order to provide for His people or accomplish His will. Rather, he looks for these times in our lives to see how we will seek after Him, depend on Him, and grow closer to Him as we walk through life's tough decisions.

For those of you who feel pressure from the "tyranny of the urgent", do not worry, but rather entrust yourself and your family into the loving hands of a sovereign God. It sounds overly simple, but He clothes the lilies of the field, and He feeds the birds of the air. He has not forgotten about you and will provide for you as you entrust yourself to Him.

Psalm 34: 12-15
12 Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry.