The Journey to Manhood

When I was a child I was part of a group similar to the boy scouts, but organized through my church called Christian Service Brigade. My dad was a leader and worked with the boys that came through for almost 30 years of his life. In addition to the weekly meetings involving working through a handbook, building various crafts (most of which Mr. Joe Hoover had come up with), and playing dodge ball in the gym, we would periodically go on weekend camp outs to various locations.

One of the regular activities we would take part in as young men was building a fire. There is something very exciting and dare I say "dangerous" about fire and it captures the imagination of many a boy...including myself. Although I was taught to build a fire as a kid, I would also like to light papers and things on fire in my old garage growing up as well. Mom and Dad didn't know and I never burned it down so I guess all is good.

After graduation from high school I got a job as a camp counselor in West Michigan at Camp Kaskitowa for the summer. One or our responsibilities was campfire each night and about my fourth or fifth day, I was put in charge of the fire for the evening. Thinking I remembered everything I needed to know about a fire I got all the little twigs and leaves...also known as kindling...and I put together a fire for the evening. I had these big logs stacked up nicely and the kindling underneath. Well I started the fire and the evening program began. Sadly, I had forgotten one thing...the medium size sticks and branches necessary to bridge the gap between the kindling and the logs...about 5 minutes into the the campfire the fire burnt out.

Well, the lead counselor had one of the guys go run and get the gasoline, they doused the wood, and it quickly was ablaze. After the campfire was over the leader pulled me aside and said, "Zilkie, you don't know how to build a fire?" I was embarrassed and felt as if my manhood was on the line. My punishment for screwing up the fire was the privilege of building the campfire for the next week. (Which was some work gathering all of the wood necessary to burn a big fire for an hour or so.)

Fast forward 17 years and we are vacationing a couple weeks ago at the Lake of the Ozarks. There is a beautiful fire pit and I see an opportunity. I will begin teaching my children how to build a fire...the right way...just in case they ever are in charge of "campfire" later in their life.

First I had them collect three different types of fuel (wood) to burn. Kindling...smaller sticks and branches, and finally the bigger wood where the real fire and heat come from...


After they had collected and put it in piles we began the building process placing the little twigs and paper at the bottom. We then laid the medium size sticks on top of those in a tee pee formation. Finally we gently laid the larger logs on top without knocking the other sticks down. I handed the match to David and let him strike it against the matchbox and...wala...fire. He gently lit the paper on fire and watched the chain reaction. The paper ignited the twigs, the twigs as they heated up ignited the sticks, and the sticks and they got hot ignited the logs...

...just how I should have done it 17 years ago at campfire that night. No lighter fluid, no gasoline, just good old fashioned fire building and they did a great job.

...4 Months

Back in March one of my first posts was called "4 Days". That is the story of how we sold our home in Michigan in 4 days in a horrendous housing market and still got a little above what we were realistically expecting on the sales price. Well...

As of Thursday evening, we have a purchase agreement on our new home here in St. Louis. there are 4-6 weeks ahead of work to do before we close and then additional work to do before it is move-in ready. But we are thrilled and are so thankful for God's provision.

Instead of 4 Days, it took us "4 Months" to find the home that had all the "stuff" we felt was important for our growing family in this next Zilkie Home. Most importantly...

Near work - Our prayer was within 5 miles of the Rooftop building, we got 10 houses down the road...walking distance!!!

Reasonable Price - Finding a suitable 4 bedroom home here in St. Louis with all our "fixins" that didn't break our budget was not easy. We were having to look at homes way out of our realistic price range and were concerned how the financing would work out. We ended up within our predetermined range and budgeted allotment for a home purchase.

Big Yard - since our kids school at home, we needed some room for them to run, play, throw, catch, swing, and most importantly to David.."a yard that can hold my BIG KICKS" (as he told us he is getting bigger and our current yard can't hold his kicks and the ball keeps going into the neighbors yard). Our home is on an ACRE lot in the middle of the city of Affton...a real find for sure and plenty big for his "big kicks".

In fact, Julie made a list before we began of the things she felt we wanted and needed in our home and she prayed diligently over that list these past 4 months. It took some time, but our needs were provided for. Humble, God-focused, open-handed prayer is still and will always be both powerful and effective. God loves to engage us and our lives through our prayers to Him, both the "yes"s and the "no"s. In both cases, if we are praying, we come away knowing Him better and isn't that the MOST important thing???

Since we are on the subject we do ask for your prayers on everything working out up to and through the closing the end of September. In the meantime feel free to join us in thanking God for his many gifts to us...both the enjoyable ones (like our new home) and the struggles where we are separated from our flesh and our personal desires and are forced to lean on Him or crumble under the pressure.

We are so very excited to open up the Zilkie home very soon for some great dinners, great games in the "huge" yard, great parties and BBQs, lodging for distant travelers, and share with others the goodness God has so graciously shared with us.

Our First St. Louis Vacation

This past week the Zilkie family took their first vacation since moving to Missouri and spent the week at the Lake of the Ozarks. This lake is a man-made lake like many of the little ponds and lakes all across southern Michigan where Julie and I grew up and lived most of our lives. So when I received the offer to stay at a friends home there for our vacation, we gladly took them up on it. Our friends the Smiths have a nice house on a "man-made" lake back in Michigan and it is a fun little place for the kids to go and play...

Just like we didn't know what a "float trip" was or what "trivia night" was, so too "man made" means something completely different here in Missouri. As opposed to some bulldozers clearning out a big pit several acres big to make a lake...here in Missouri, they just build a dam, flood a river valley raising the water level 100 feet, and call the huge expanded river a lake and a massive one at that that. (Click here for map)

We had a good week and these are Jonathan's top 4 events from the week:
1. Watching all 11 episodes of Planet Earth together over a 7 day period
2. Going swimming in the lake
3. Ice cream and other treats
4. Papa reading "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" to the boys for the first time.

At least I made his top 4....

(Those receiving the email must click on the blog to view pictures.)

Eating Smores


Bagnell Dam


Julie and Selah at a picnic lunch


Zeke at McDs playland...loves the slide


The Family...and yes Zeke is pulling Jonathan's hair...love our family!!!!!!!!!!!!

A little break...

It has been several weeks since my last post and the longest break I have taken since starting this blog earlier this year. I am actually sitting in the break room at a church west of St. Louis attending the Willow Creek Leadership Summit. This is an annual leadership conference hosted by Willow Creek which is located in the suburbs of Chicago. There are hundreds of satellite locations around North America and the world which host this conferences via simulcast. I attended my first in Grand Rapids in 2001 and every one thereafter until 2006. After leaving Kentwood Community Church in 2006 (which was a host site as well), I had not attended one since. So here, three years later I am back and as usual Bill Hybels opened the Summit with his leadership message and as usual, it was very good and a shot in the arm in regard to leadership.

On a side note, we Zilkies are planning a little get-a-way here soon as well. Also, the 100 days mark is almost upon us so there is much to write and reflect upon as the summer winds down in the next month. In the meantime, it is good to be back engaging you my blogging friends and I will be back soon...

Update on David

Well we have some news on David and he would like to tell it to you himself.
(If you get the email you are going to have to click on the blog to watch it.)



If you want to see the longer interview with David you can watch it here

As far as Julie goes, her post-delivery issues have not been noticed for many weeks and the Stratus which was stolen around Memorial Day is up and running for less than what we were initially told, $600 instead of $1,000.

Tonight, the Zilkies sleep in peace. Thanks for you prayers and especially for David. This has been huge for him and his spiritual journey.

100 Days Update - Day 76

It has been over a week since I posted. Things got busy here over the holiday. We will have an update on David's hip and well being in the next couple days as well.

After 76 Days how are things going?

• We are still looking for a permanent home, but enjoying our time on Gresham and our neighbors. David, Jonathan, and Caroline all are making friends and engaging the neighbors on our side of the road and even across the street. (I am not sure how that is happening).


• Things at Rooftop are going well. I am meeting with the ministry team leaders and small group leaders and starting to get in a groove. I have spoken twice at the weekend service so far and will be back up again in August.


• I am enjoying getting to know Jason and Matt, my coworkers here at Rooftop. They both have neat families and we are planning a staff family day next week which will be a ton of fun.


• I am doing well spiritually as well and have found several kindred spirits to meet with and pray together on a regular basis. This is so important for so many reasons and is something I did not have at my last church.


• I am really enjoying seeing God at work in the lives of my Rooftop family. Hearing about God's working in their lives and hearts on various levels, challenging them to a more fervent pursuit of God on a narrower path, energizes me every single time.


• Update on David and the family and our previous struggles later this week...

Thank you to all of you who read, follow along, and pray for us here in St. Louis.

Here is a little reminder of God's love for you and for me...enjoy and peace of Chist to you...

"The Light Shines in the Darkness"

I taught this past Sunday, July 5th; the 3rd message in a 13 week series on 1 John called "Summer of Love". The passage I taught from is 1 John 1:8 - 2:2 (5 verses). Click the title to listen: "A Light Shines in the Darkness"

You can check out www.rooftop.org for the previous 2 messages...

Facebook, Irony, and the Brink Family

I don't know if I am different than most people, but I remember incredible details from my childhood and very specific events and thoughts I had during that time. Facebook, for those of you who are on it, has opened up a new door to reconnecting with all kinds of people from our past. Many people find this exercise a waste of time and energy. I find it somewhat nostalgic and also enjoy reflecting on who I was as a child and what I thought about people and the world. This is especially significant as I am now grown and have five children of my own who look at people and the world much differently than I do at 34, and yet I see how significant and formative the childhood thoughts they are having today can and will be.

One example of this is my reconnecting with a bunch of people whose families attended the church I went to when I was young. Growing up, my church was most of my life and I viewed all of my church family very highly, even if I didn't know them. Many of the people I am connecting with were older than me by 3 to 6 years and knew of me, but more likely knew me through my sister Heather who is almost 5 years older than me. What they don't know is that as a child I looked up to the older kids very much and held them in a very high regard. Even today as I connect with them through Facebook, I feel an affinity with them that they don't necessarily feel with me. I am the brat kid brother of Heather ...which sadly was true on many accounts. Yet, this connection from my youth is still important to me and I appreciate the opportunity to interact with them, feeble and shallow as it might seem.

Then there are the important people from my youth, one of whom I just connected with yesterday through Facebook. Growing up I did not spend much time in my home unless I was watching TV or playing video games. Mostly, I was wandering about my hometown of Romeo, Michigan on my bike, filling my days with whatever. During the summers especially, I was always looking for things to fill my time. Somewhere along the way I met the Brink family who lived just three blocks away. Their dad was a minister in the Southern Baptist Church, and had been assigned to the church in our town. They were a "large" family with five kids from somewhere down south, had accents we made fun of from time to time, and they didn't have a TV. No doubt about it...they were weird...or so I thought.

Mr. and Mrs. Brink were very stable and solid people. Mrs. Brink was very generous and kind and who knows how many meals I mooched off of them and her over the years. Eric, who was in my grade, and his brothers would join me in all kinds of imaginative games and make-believe...you know, stuff kids should do more of these days. We formed clubs of various kinds that met in the back of our crazy garage/barn which used to be a "chicken coop". We played football, baseball, kickball, and many other sports games together. Some mornings, I would be over to their house before they had breakfast. They were a great family and their home was a good place for me to dwell as a child. God definitely placed them in my adolescent life for a purpose I would not see until all these years later.

Sadly, as I grew older and succumbed to the peer pressures of junior high and trying to be cool (which I wasn't), I began to scorn Eric and their family. Because they were different, and by different I mean kind, unified as a family, respectful to their parents, and less affluent, I decided I was better than they were at some level. Ironically enough, my junior high years were very lonely and sad years in my life, as I felt disconnected from family, friends, God, just about everyone. Adolescence can be such a hard time, and especially if a child has no trustworthy source to talk with and help guide them through, and even then it is still filled with challenges. I reconnected with Eric a little through morning basketball in high school but never really reengaged him nor his family again. We graduated from high school, their family moved away to a new assignment out west and I never saw them again, but thought of them from time to time over the years.

Then Eric shows up on Facebook this week and my mind wanders back to all the memories and childhood events that involved him and his family in my life. What was "weird" to me back then is now my life...five kids, a TV that is rarely used in our home, a choice to live less affluently, and my serving as a pastor...just like his father did. Even as I write this, I am amazed at what has transpired and how we are the Brink family, except that our accent is more nasally than theirs was. I will forward this link on to Eric and his siblings and ask that he forward it on to his parents as well. They should know of the impact their home and ministry had, albeit abstract and unknown to me at the time. I am so thankful for the "different" family that lived on the corner of Benjamin and Main Street next to the old white church in town. I hope that we Zilkies might be a refuge to a young "Jeremy" out there, who needs a safe and loving place to rest and receive the unconditional love of Jesus, even as their world is filled with challenges and dangers they aren't quite sure how to navigate.

A Good Day

Yesterday was a very full day for me and a very good one as well. Let's recap...

Early Sunday morning Julie left on a trip back to Michigan to see my sister, brother-in-law, and their newborn daughter, Ruby...their first child. We had hoped to see little Ruby before we left, but God's timing in bringing us to STL did not coincide as she was not born until June. We are so excited for Katie and Kent and I was thrilled to see Julie go and spend several days with them. Katie and Kent have been a great aunt and uncle to our children. Our other siblings, my sister Heather and Julie's sister Jodi are good aunts, but have children of their own and lived some distance away from us when we were in Grand Rapids. Yet Katie and Kent regularly made the trip out to our home and blessed us each time they came. The fact that they did not have children of their own increased their flexibility for sure. Now that they have their first child, we are sad that we will not be able to shower them with love and support in being the great aunt and uncle they have been. They are going to be great parents for sure!!! So we sent our Zilkie ambassador, namely Julie and her attendant Selah, on a three day trip to Detroit.

The other positive is that Julie can use the break as she has been stretched thin these past couple months since moving into a temporary home here in STL. She is doing great and taking great care of our home, but this time away for her is good. In the meantime, I get to watch our four oldest by myself for three days...which is a blast. Sunday afternoon we made pasta with butter and Parmesan cheese...and a slice of buttered bread. Not fancy, but a perennial favorite with the kids...and a meal that Julie would never dream of serving. In fact David said that it was his "favorite noodles". Sometimes simple is best. Then this morning we were up, fed, and at the zoo by 8 a.m. There was nobody there and it was great. We saw the penguins and puffins, touched the stingrays, walked through the bird sanctuary, reptile house, monkey house, and insectarium. We had 2 full hours of zoo fun and were out of there by 10 a.m. when the crowds started showing up. Also, David and Jonathan watched Star Wars for the first time yesterday afternoon. Then today they watched Empire Strikes Back for the first time and they want to finish off the trilogy tomorrow afternoon with Return of the Jedi. They are mesmerized by the movies, the larger than life characters, and they remind me of what it was like to watch those films when I was a child when they were first released. It has been a very cool time.

The second thing that was special yesterday was being part of a baptism for a neat woman and sister in Christ named Claire. Claire is the fifth child in a family of 17. Her mother Rita gave birth to 17 children in 20 years and did not have any multiples. Pretty amazing. Claire is now in her 50s with three grown daughters of her own and has a beautiful faith in God that only really took hold about three years ago. Claire grew up in a strongly denominational church-going family. Her parents were amazing people and sought to impart their faith into the lives of their children as best they could. However, with 17 kids, odds are some might not "get it" from the start. Well with many of her family and friends present yesterday, Claire got up in the service and read the story of her spiritual journey. It is a beautiful one. Her eldest daughter is the one who actually pursued her heart and was the lynch-pin for her finally seeing and believing in Jesus for herself three years ago. Not only that, but Claire is now heavily involved in the life of Rooftop and in the lives of her three girls as a loving and godly mother and grandmother. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversations as we talked about her spiritual journey and what she wanted to share before being baptized. The water in the baptismal was cold, but the warmth of support and love in the room from Rooftoppers, her family and friends, and the blessing of God's presence more than made up for it.

Finally, I met with a bunch of Rooftoppers who volunteer their time and energy to serve our church community. We are planning a big fall serving event that will hopefully accomplish much in line with God's will for our church and for our community. There are more details to come, but it will be successful because of the great servants and volunteers God has placed at Rooftop.

Yes, yesterday was a good day. I continually get excited to think of the many like it that, Lord willing, are yet to come.

Trusting God

As Julie and I continue to settle into life here in St. Louis and at Rooftop we often find ourselves reflecting back on our journey in getting here. The other day we both looked back on all of the churches where we applied to throughout 2008 and the numerous ministry positions which we made the final 10, final 5, and on several occasions the final 2 or 3. Yet at each point we were told, "sorry, we are going in a different direction." I remember the feeling in my gut when I heard that after months of pursuing each of these different positions, once again this was a closed door. We got used to, and even pretty good at being rejected with grace and also with inquisitive questions as to what we were lacking.

There was a church in Grand Rapids which we were one of the final 3 candidates and getting all the right signs from them. It looked very promising after our on-site interview and we were getting quite excited and then a week later...they went silent. Our family attended their service that weekend and the previous enthusiasm we had seen had been replaced with a polite "hello" followed by a little awkwardness. A week later we hear that they had gone with the dark horse candidate who took the interview process by storm and ultimately took the position.

There was another church in the Houston area that we traveled to for a formal interview. It was between me and an older gentleman. The church had a choice of the younger, passionate, and somewhat "risky" Jeremy or the older, established, stable (other guy). We had a lot to offer that church and community in connecting better with younger people and families and I thought we were going to get that offer. In fact, although Julie wasn't sold on the church I kept telling her that if they offered us we should accept. However, if I am honest, I was saying "yes" for many of the wrong reasons. We would have been repeating some of the problems we faced at our previous church that were related to how we "fit" with the church culture, and yet I was feeling desperate. It was pretty much a coin flip and they chose the other guy. You can only wonder what would have happened had they said yes and how different so many things would be.

Through the help of a ministry "head-hunter" I was put in contact with a church in Pennsylvania and the position that they were describing seemed a perfect fit for Julie and I. More interesting is that there were no other viable candidates who passed the first couple rounds of interviews and vetting because of the specific requests and requirements of the ministry position in question. We were a shoe-in and very excited to move to the Philadelphia area. Then, they had some Senior Pastor developments and in the process of working those out and hiring their current pastor, they ceased the search for the position we had been pursuing for several months. So close and yet...

There was even one church in Tennessee who after speaking with their two lead pastors decided that they were going in a different direction as well. When I asked them about other candidates and what they had found, they said, "oh, there are no other candidates, we just don't feel like you would be a good fit." Ouch! I had been rejected before, but at least someone had bested me for the position...in this case I lost out to nobody which is much worse.

But it was after the Houston visit in November that things changed for me and for our family. Around Thanksgiving God convicted me of some sinful thoughts and beliefs of mine that were rooted in fear and lacking faith. This was very startling to me as I realized it and led me to fast for an extended period of time in hopes that God would straighten me out. After the fast, heading into 2009, everything had changed. My heart had been renewed and Julie and I had been freed from the process of looking for a church. We were now down to one ministry position (Rooftop) and had decided that if Rooftop didn't work, God was closing the ministry door. In addition to that, I was no longer desperate to get back into vocational ministry. If Rooftop didn't work, then into the marketplace we would stay and likely move back to the Detroit area.

Yet, God had a plan and we had been given freedom from the Holy Spirit. Freedom to say "yes" or "no", based on what God wanted and not what we "needed" to transpire. It was a much different process for us which led to a little drama in the final weeks of the interveiw process here at Rooftop before being offered the position. In our desire to walk this different path, we made some contrarian decisions which contirbuted to the previously mentioned "drama". Ultimately, God is faithful and worked it out for His glory as we authentically sought to seek and obey Him. He can be trusted. The real question is, to what lengths will we go and what will we give up to show our trust in Him?