Life's Not Fair

One of the things that excites me most about heaven is that "life" will finally be as it is supposed to be. So often in our lives, things happen that make us shake our heads and think "that is just not how it is supposed to be".  Sadly, this is the consequence of living in a world negatively impacted by our sin, which God initially intended to be perfect...and will some day in the future will make perfect again.

An example of this took place on Saturday evening here at our home.  Our former neighbors, married couple with two boys the same age as David and Jonathan, were over for dinner. We had just finished dinner and were enjoying some dessert while the boys were playing upstairs.  All of a sudden we hear a scream from upstairs. Screams and cries are not uncommon in a family of 5 children, especially with 2 additional children thrown in, but this one was different. When we got upstairs I saw something that broke my heart. David, our eldest, was standing there with blood flowing out of his mouth and his right front adult tooth was gone...and I, who usually acts smoothly and decisively in a moment of crisis was honestly stunned.

What happened??? Well, this is where life is not fair. Jonathan and the other boys were starting to get a little too wild in their play. David sensing this and wanting to do the right thing had asked the boys, all three of them, to settle down a little bit. Their friends listened and settled down, but not brother Jonathan. He continued to act foolishly and threw a big plastic toy at his brother David and "POW", hit him right in the mouth, cut his lip, sliced David's gum, and knocked his permanent tooth clean out. (I will blog more about Jonathan and this part of “the deal” at a later date...)

It truly was a surreal moment for me. Growing up, I always had this fear of getting one of my permanent teeth knocked out and I remember checking my teeth every time I got smacked or hit in the mouth with something. I was kind of paranoid about it and probably still am.

At first we were trying to treat David for the bleeding that was coming from his mouth. Then I went upstairs and found the whole tooth, root and all, lying on the carpet. I tried to insert it at that time, but was not sure I was seating it correctly and placed it in milk instead. After trying for 10-15 minutes to contact a dentist or someone else to help guide us, which was impossible on a Saturday evening, we grabbed the cup of milk with the tooth and headed to the ER at the Children's Hospital here in St. Louis.

Before too long we were in a room in triage and a doctor came in and helped insert the tooth as much as it would go in. Unfortunately, it had been about an hour since getting knocked out and the likelihood of saving the tooth is best when reinserted in 30 minutes or less. Well, as David applied pressure on the tooth while we waited for the pediatric dentist who was on call to come in, he was able to get the tooth fully inserted back into his the cavity in his mouth.  The dentist was great, especially on a Saturday evening having been interrupted while eating out with his wife.  Once he arrived we did some x-rays and saw that the tooth was inserted perfectly. Then the dentist explained what was going to happen in the coming weeks.

Three things would/could happen:

1) The best scenario would be for the nerve in the tooth to reconnect with the nerve in the gums and for the tooth to reseat in David's mouth. This would save the tooth fully and cost little in the way of dental expenses. We are praying that is what has and will ultimately happen.

2) If the nerve did not reconnect, the body will not recognize the cells inside the tooth which has been reinserted in David's mouth and it will begin to attack it sensing it as a foreign object in the body. This would be bad for David, cause pain, and lead to a whole host of dental procedures and expenses we are not looking forward to.

3) If situation 2 does occur then David will need to get a root canal to deaden the exposed nerve in the empty cavity where the tooth used to be. Then they will take the dead tooth, clear the nerve out of the tooth and fill it with some substance that would allow it to stay up in the cavity for years to come. This is important because of the need for spacing as David's other adult teeth come in.

*Remember that David had the whole Perthes Disease in his hip last summer which we prayed over and saw the Lord heal him of that.

So, a couple things to remember as I close this blog...

1) Life is not fair. David is as just and as well tempered a 7 year old boy as you will find and "he" gets his tooth knocked out even as he is trying to bring peace to a wild situation. 

2) We would appreciate your prayers for David and for this tooth to heal. Granted it is only a tooth, but the fixing of it will be extensive and expensive and he didn't even get it knocked out playing hockey. 

Finally, this has been harder for me than it has been for David.  Why, I am not sure, but Saturday night while he slept great, I tossed and turned all night which is very rare for me.  Julie finds this funny and says how interesting it is to learn something new about someone you have been married to for almost 10 years.  David keeps trucking forward enjoying life, while we wait for several weeks to see what in the end has or has not occurred.  

To be continued...

Small Group Update

I wanted to post an update on our Financial Peace University small group since I mentioned it last month as we started up.  Julie and I love the group.  This is the first small group we have hosted in our home in many years and subsequently the first group we have hosted here in our St. Louis home.  It is such a joy to have our friends over every week.  Julie does such a great job hosting and I always love having people over and around. 

In addition to getting to know our group members much better than we previously did, each and every group member is taking this group so seriously.  We are seeing people face some of their fears and struggles related to finances and walk in the victory that God has for us when we place our faith and trust in Him.  We are seeing couples in our group come together to tackle their financial struggles rather than let the struggles drive them apart.

One thing I have seen in my years of ministry and encouraging people to pursue God honestly and more passionately, is that he uses real life stuff to help us and grow us.  It is kind of like working out in the gym.  That which may cause us some temporal pain is actually the thing that will benefit us most in the long run.  Facing our fears and even our personal failures is not ultimately bad, as much as it may hurt in the moment.  Yet, the soreness that comes can reassure us that we have exercised our spirit and our spiritual muscles. 

Finally, I want to share something that I have shared numerous times in the past couple weeks.  Since we Americans are so good and controlling our lives and not needing God because all of the security and comfort we can bring to our own lives, I believe God uses our finances as a means to speak to us.  Money and how it impacts us is one area we cannot totally buffer ourselves from and as a result it is a great way for God to speak to us in the depths of our heart. 

An Important Issue

If you think about it, I would appreciate your prayers.  Presently I am venturing into an important issue at Rooftop, one that perplexes the church of America as well.  The issue is "How do we best minister to and train up our children and youth?"  At Rooftop this is taking the form of how to shape our forthcoming youth ministry effort.  Presently, I am reading Wes Stafford's, Too Small to Ignore and enjoying it.  Yet, his conclusions and suggestions fly in the face of typical Western culture and the way most Christians have raised their youth in the recent decades.

I am beginning this venture through reading a number of books, plan on talking to a number of parents, consulting our staff and leadership, and praying a ton.  The most daunting statistic that is driving my pursuit is that 90% of church attending teens in recent decades leave the church and potentially their faith, once they graduate from high school.  What this means is...what the church and parents have been doing has NOT been working.  Only 10% of American youth have continued with church involvement into their young adulthood...that is insane and a horrible tragedy!!! 

Interestingly, Julie and I did experience this reatlity firsthand through our struggles reaching young adults and growing the young adult ministry at our last church in Grand Rapids.  During 5 years of focused and steady ministry to young people ages 18-29, we had only TWO seniors from the church's high school minsitry transition into our group and stick.   This is in a church of almost 3,000 people with 50-100 graduating seniors every year.  TWO people, Adam and Michele, everyone else in our group had little or no connection previously to Kentwood before joining our ministry.  Is this not crazy???

Well, now we are trying to address this problem from the other end, developing a ministry or discipleship plan for our children to help them avoid being one of these statistics.  What this looks like, I do not yet know.  What I do know is that it will probably be different from what people experienced themselves or have been used to.  With a 10% success rate, we can only hope that it is different.  Thanks for your prayers and your interest.  Stay tuned for more of my findings and learnings as we continue on this journey...

A Man of the Earth

Today is my official return to the earth where my dad spent so many years of his life.  I know, I know...that sounds a little overly dramatic for putting in a garden.  However, we don't realize all the strands of our lives and how they stay connected to one another until certain life events renew or reveal the connection.  I grew up on an acre lot in a small Michigan town just on the outskirts of the Metro Detroit area.  We lived in a village only 2 blocks from the main crossing. Yet, our land had been in our family for over 100 years and for 100 years 2/3 of our lot was used for planting crops of various kinds.  As time passed on and other lots were divided up and sold  for lots for homes, our family's lot did not, and every year the big ole' garden was planted. 

By the time the 1980s rolled around our town was pretty full and a very typical suburban village with houses lined up and down streets one next to the other.  It never occurred to me that our garden and the 1/2 acre of corn growing on our lot in the middle of our village was at all peculiar.  As I turned 10, I no longer had any interest in the garden or helping out with it.  As my dad got older and his health diminished, the garden grew smaller and smaller.  About the time I left for the Marines, our large lot was divided up into 3 smaller lots and sold off for two more homes to be built in what used to be our back yard and garden.  The Zilkie garden heritage was gone, having died off through the tyranny of progress and technology.

Well today, "The Earth Strikes Back".  With Julie leading the charge, the Zilkies are putting in some raised beds for our own garden and the children's hearts have returned to their fathers.  I am putting our raised beds together, mixing the perfect soil without any weeds, leaving behind the old method of rows and spaced out planting.  (My dad would be amazed to see how much different and easier gardening has become in the past 25 years.)  Most importantly, our children are thrilled to use the tools to assemble the beds and are excited to be given their own sections of garden to care for.  I think I am a little better casting the vision than my dad was which helps a bit. 

On a personal note, there is something very spiritual about gardening.  Gardening is a metaphor for life.  In our present day we want and expect everything to come immediately.  This is also true of our relationship with God.  And yet God says that we are "like a tree planted by rivers of water" (see Psalm 1).  A tree does not grow overnight but over a long time and as a result of consistent nuture and care.  Also, being involved in something mysterious like watching a little seed become a big, beautiful, food producing plant 4 months later, while all I do is water, is quite amazing.  God has a plan, and He has engineered that plan in the life of every seed and in our own lives as well.  We need to have a vision for His plan and patiently water each others hearts and souls as well as our own, watching with anticipation for the signs of growth He brings about.  I am seeing this growth and God-activity every week at Rooftop and in my own family. 

As you consider your life this spring, you may not be planting a garden, but I want to encourage you to reflect a moment if you would.  What seed is God planting in your heart and soul and how does He want to see that grow?  What is He asking you to do in the area of watering that will allow a "harvest of righteousness" in the months ahead?  It won't happen overnight, but one day after many days, you will look and see a spiritual sprout break through the ground of your life. Feel excitement just as children do that first morning  the plants in our earthly gardens have broken through the earth and are on their way to a bountiful harvest. 

New Small Group

Our church recently finished a 6 week series on "Money" and interestingly it was one of the best message series the church as ever done. One of the follow up steps for that is us Zilkies hosting a 14 week small group covering Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University (FPU) material. Julie and I have listened to Ramsey for years, going back to our days in Grand Rapids. We like his approach to money and especially money struggles that so many people find themselves facing. So when the opportunity to take some Rooftoppers on a maiden voyage through FPU, Julie and I were excited to do so and to also host our first small group here at Rooftop. 

Well, last night was our first meeting and it was great. Our group is filled with various people who felt God prompting them to take a step or steps of action about money as they were part of our recent series. To kick off our group we invited a wonderful couple from our church to share their personal story and journey. They have had significant financial and other challenges, went through FPU years ago, and are now experiencing the joy and freedom this material and ministry can provide. They were open, humble, and so very wise in their sharing. Then everyone who attended shared what they hoped God would give to them from their time in the course...and no one mentioned "money". Rather, people wanted peace, wisdom, to change their spiritual and financial legacy with their children, to hear from God more clearly, etc.

It was a privilege to host and be a part of the group. If you could say a prayer for the men and women who are taking this journey with us, we all need it and would greatly appreciate it. I believe God will want to minister to all of us in the depths of our heart and I am so excited to witness it and experience it firsthand. What we think, feel, and believe about money is such a core component of our spiritual lives and God really wants to minister to all of us in this area.

A Disturbing Article This Morning...

This morning I came across a disturbing article, disturbing in both its informaiton and seeminly truthful observation of the Christian Church at large of which I am a part...

In a number of places around the world, it is open season on Christians. We read of Christians burned out of their homes and slaughtered in Pakistan. Most recently, at least 500 Christians were murdered in Nigeria. The attackers in all cases are Muslims, inspired by the warlike message of their Prophet. AFP reports on the Nigerian attacks:

UN chief Ban Ki-moon and Washington led calls for restraint on Monday after the slaughter of more than 500 Christians in Nigeria, as survivors told how the killers chopped down their victims.

Funerals took place for victims of the three-hour orgy of violence on Sunday in three Christian villages close to the northern city of Jos, blamed on members of the mainly Muslim Fulani ethnic group. ...

"We have over 500 killed in three villages and the survivors are busy burying their dead," said state information commissioner Gregory Yenlong. "People were attacked with axes, daggers and cutlasses -- many of them children, the aged and pregnant women."

Do you remember the "massacre" at Jenin? Of course: Palestinians initially claimed that 500 had been killed, but it turned out that there was no massacre after all. In Nigeria, on the other hand, no one disputes that more than 500 Christians were slaughtered by Muslims. So where is the outrage? I don't know what denomination those Nigerian Christians were, but Lutherans are the most numerous Christian denomination in Africa. I'm a Lutheran, but I have never heard a single word from any church source, local or national, about the mass murder of African Christians. No one seems to care.

No doubt readers can refer us to some Christian sources--evangelical, most likely--who have tried to draw attention to the plight of Christians in Africa, the Middle East and Asia who are being exterminated. But any such effort has wholly failed to gain traction in the "mainstream" Christian community.

Why? I can't explain it. Maybe "mainstream" Christianity is dead, except as an appendage of secular liberal opinion. Maybe, as the world's largest religion, Christianity has become so diffused that New World Christians don't much relate to their co-religionists in Africa and Asia. I don't know. What I do know is that it is much more dangerous to publish a cartoon of Mohammed than to slice apart a Christian with a machete.  

 http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2010/03/025796.php

Here is another link with more info:

http://toddpruitt.blogspot.com/2010/03/slaughter-in-nigeria.html


Why are we American / Western Christians so deaf to the struggles of our brothers and sisters in Christ around the world who suffer for Jesus?  Have we no appetite for the reality that following Jesus is not as easy as we know and experience here in America?  Sadly, I do not know the answer to this question...

How the Kingdom of God Works...

Julie and I have been very encouraged these past several months with all of the amazing things we have seen God do in the lives of different people. God is doing something special, and although we are not sure exactly what, we are so blessed to be witness to it. However, in God's economy true spiritual growth and the advancement of the kingdom of God has a cost. That cost is...Me. If you are going to be a part of the true spiritual work that God wants to do, it will cost you your life.

The past several months we Zilkies have had a tubal/ectopic pregnancy, Julie has had two visits to the hospital, Julie's mom's husband of 9 years passed away, and during our trip back to see them the whole family got the flu at the same time (that really was an awful 24 hours). During our drive back yesterday, God used these difficult events in the Zilkie family to bring up some hard stuff in my life and in our marriage. Some of “the stuff” that we never even knew was there. Please pray for Julie and I as we "go there" and ask God to reveal, convict of sin, forgive, and heal our hearts in the things that God is showing us. It is not easy to surrender to God...

Ever since I recommitted my life to Jesus Christ at 17 I have wanted nothing more in life than to see the God of the Bible reign and be recognized as the same almighty and sovereign God in our lives today...because He is. Yet, to be a part of that and by His grace to be a leader in that, I know it will require the same thing it required of Jesus, all 12 of his disciples, and millions of followers of our Lord Jesus since...death.

Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

During our recent baptism service, one of the Rooftoppers shared about the horrible stuff that happened to her before she gave her life to Jesus. She commented about all the people who say how "unlucky" she is to have gone through her troubles. She however, sees it differently. She stated in her testimony that she sees herself as the luckiest person in the world that God would love her so much that He would stop at nothing to break through her pride and self centeredness to pour His grace into her life. She sees her hardship as a necessary human part to surrendering her life fully to Jesus Christ. Oh, that all of us who "follow Jesus" could truly believe and live out those hard yet beautiful words.

Sad News

Yesterday in the early afternoon, Grandpa Don passed away.  He has been fighting some infections since getting pancreatitis last year.  He had been hospitalized for ever since while coming in and out of a coma state in the months since.  Don married Julie's mother several months after we were married back in 2001.  He was a good grandpa to our children and will be missed. We are especially sad for Julie's mother, Jan, who is widowed for the second time.

The sad news is that our doctor has stated that because of the nearness of Julie's return trip to the hospital for internal bleeding, she is not yet healthy enough to make a trip to Michigan.  So we will not be able to attend his funeral this weekend.  However, we are planning some time the end of the month for the whole family to go and spend a week with Julie's mother.  We believe that will be even better time to spend with her, several weeks after the funeral as she processes his departure and her new reality. 

There is something that I am seeing as I am now 35 and getting a year older every year.  Life gets harder as we get older, regardless of the money we may have to preserve comfort and avoid pain. Life still gets harder because of death, increased responsibilities, health struggles, and an increase in events over which we have no control.  I am so thankful that I do not need to be in control.  Rather, I can trust in Him who is faithful to the end...

Feeling Better

It has been almost a week since Julie was last in the hospital for a second time and she seems to be doing much better.  We have taken it easy, which isn't easy with five children around the house.  We have removed stairs except for a couple times a day and no lifting of children, especially the "chunker" Zeke and Sweet Caroline.  Selah is okay in limited doses.  Our friend Jen from the Detroit area has been here for an extra week helping out.  Her being home with Julie to help keep her off her feet has been so helpful and allows me to continue working at Rooftop.  Jen is headed back on Thursday morning after two weeks here.  We will miss her when she goes.

Thank you to all of you who have prayed, brought meals, and cared for us.  A couple more weeks and we think things will be back to normal.  I know Julie is chomping at the bit to get back to normal.  Keeping that woman off her feet is not an easy venture.  In the meantime she has been working on some beautiful crafts for the family and gifts for Caroline.  Julie has taken on some new interests in this area and it is great to see what she blesses our home and famil with.  She has to do something with all the time she has.

Thursday Update - 12 p.m.

I just talked with Julie and it looks as if they are releasing her this afternoon.  However, unlike a couple weeks ago, she has been given explicit instructions to "take it easy".  Now, the doctor instructed us to take it easy a couple weeks ago, but did not specify at the time.  So, apart from church, some grocery shopping, and visits to the doctor, Julie barely left the house.  However, life with 5 children 7 years and under is anything but "taking it easy" and normal life for us may have been what overdid it these past couple of days. 

So, Julie is coming back home to take it easy, but this time that means no lifting, no laborious movements, eating substantially and drinking large amounts of water and fluids.  Thankfully our friend Jen is staying another week to help care for the children and for Julie as I return to my post at Rooftop and balance home and ministry as we walk through her healing and recovery.

Julie is avoiding surgery again and we pray made her last visit to the hospital for some time.  Thank you to all of you for your prayers, support and encouragement.  Your continued "check-ins" on the Zilkies are appreciative and very helpful.  It is going to be an interesting couple of weeks, but we take it just a day at a time, right?

*On a side note, thank you to the many people who showed up at Rooftop for the prayer time last night.  Even though I wasn't able to make it because of our current situation, it greatly encouraged my heart to hear that you all gathered and petitioned the Almighty God, our Father, together as with one voice.