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The Narrow Path

Monday, December 28, 2009

9 Years

Tuesday, December 29th Julie and I will celebrate our ninth anniversary.  We were married on a wintry Friday night in December of 2000.  Some would call it a blizzard, but what took place in Trinity Episcopal Church in St. Clair Shores, Michigan, and then in the Blossom Heath Inn at our reception, was quite the opposite from what was happening outside.

The service was wonderful and I remember it as if it were yesterday.  Craig Mayes performed the ceremony splendidly, and Julie and I were surrounded by persons of vital importance in our lives prior to coming together in marriage.  We included three worship songs and I can still hear our bridal party belting out the words to all three songs as it echoed in the old small church.  I can still hear the two quarters (disguised as our rings) hitting the ceramic tile and rolling across the floor...that is still a good one Ara!  I remember seeing Julie beautifully made up in her dress and thinking "is this real?" 

Julie and I were surrounded by our family, but we were also surrounded by our church community, many brothers and sisters in Christ from "Primetime" our old single's ministry at Kensington Church in Troy, Michigan.  As Craig pronounced us "man and wife", we, with the bridal party behind us, danced out of the church to Stephen Curtis Chapman's "I'm Divin' In".  It was the most wonderful ceremony!

Then as we all headed outside into the blizzard and moved down the road for the reception, who knew what was in store?  Oh yeah...I did! :-)  Now it is important that Julie had chosen the Blossom Heath because of the beautiful circular dance floor surrounded by stately pillars in the middle of the hall.  The head table was positioned in two rows overlooking the dance floor and seating was spread out on both sides.  To get us to kiss, you had to do more than bang your silverware, you had to come up alone or in a group and sing  us a song with the word "love" in it.

Well, people were getting settled in and probably thinking about the snow outside. The bridal party had been introduced, and the staff was serving dinner.  Several of our wedding party had shared their hopes and prayers for our marriage and the salad was being served.  Then I quietly got up from our table, headed over to the DJ, got the cordless microphone and...the music began...

Julie quickly recognized that this music was not part of her program, and she was right as I had inserted the next piece myself.  I began my legendary rendition of Kenny Loggins' "Footloose" (which had enabled me to make Ensemble in Junior High by the way).  There I was, singing, dancing, avoiding servers carrying salad plates, jumping, breaking a chair, and getting a standing ovation from the crowd when I was done.  It was probably a top 10 moment in my life considering where and when it took place.  Julie was stunned and laughed during the whole thing.  It was AWESOME!!!

Well, our friends and family did not disappoint.  After my song and dance, we had a great meal with some amazing renditions of love songs from those in attendance wanting us to kiss.  Then as the dancing began, people flooded to the floor and our Primetime community led the way with the most wonderful spirit and joyful evening of dancing I have ever known.  As the evening finally wound down our brothers and sisters in Christ surrounded us on the dance floor and prayed over Julie and I for many minutes, once again acknowledging God as the Sustainer of our relationship and now the center and foundation of our marriage.

As we finally drove home that night (in the blizzard), Julie cried the whole way home because of the joy in her heart from the evening.  It truly was a most wonderful evening.  Nine years together, married, me and her...it has been everything I could have hoped for.  Happy Anniversary my Love!!!  I hope you can still hear "eight hours, for what?  Oh tell me what I got" ringing in your ears.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Traditions - (Part 4)

Our final and newest tradition that we just implemented this year is the 5 advent candles.  These are 4 calenders of various colors that are lit on the 4 Sundays prior to Christmas and a fifth candle on Christmas day.  Each candle represents a various people group who had an important role in the birth of Jesus Christ.  A side benefit for this tradition is the enjoyment the children get from the lighting and blowing out of candles every day.  Zeke stands and screams joyously at the smoke from the smoldering wicks while Caroline tries to catch it.  There are many different versions of Advent but this worked best for us...

On the 1st Advent Sunday we lit the first candle which is the candle for the prophets.  The prophets are listed first because all throughout the Old Testament and up through Simeon in the New Testament the prophets of God had been speaking of a coming Messiah and giving details of his birth, life and death.  Isaiah is most noteworthy for messianic prophecies and he lived roughly 600 years before Christ.  Micah speaks of the birthplace of the Messiah which Herod found and told the Magi when they came looking for Jesus.  We close our discussion about the prophets by singing "After lighting this first candle on the first Advent Sunday we light the one candle each night that week as we move through the Jesse Tree and sing our carols.

On the 2nd Sunday we light the first candle and then we light a second candle.  This second candle is for the angels who were sent by God to tell the people of Israel as well as Mary, Joseph, Zechariah (father of John the Baptist) and the Magi before they left Bethlehem to return home.  Again we light 2 candles all that week and so on...   The third candle is for the Shepherds and the fourth candle is for the Magi.  On Christmas day we add a fifth and special candle for the Christ child and we read and hang our final Jesse Tree ornament.  Julie cooks a special traditional Christmas breakfast highlighted by homemade cinnamon rolls.

These recent posts are some of the traditions which we have adopted over many years as a family.  They have added meaning and depth to our Christmas season and have added significantly to what our children have been able to take away from Christmas.  If Christmas is just about gifts and what they get (even if we love giving them gifts), then a great family time and teaching season is potentially lost.  Our children are a captive audience to all things Christmas.  It is up to us as parents to shape what they actually become captive to.

Merry Christmas to you and to your family this year!!!

(Summary of our Advent tradition )


1st Sunday - Prophets
Read Isaiah 9:2,6 & Sing O Come, O Come Emmanuel

2nd Sunday - Angels
Read Luke 2:10-14 & Sing Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

3rd Sunday - Shepherds
Read - Luke 2:15-18,20 & Sing Go Tell it on the Mountain

4th Sunday - Magi
Read Matthew 2:1-2,11 & Sing We Three Kings

Christmas - Savior
Read Luke 1:32-33 & Sing Joy to the World

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Christmas Traditions - (Part 2)...Updated with link to Jesse Tree

Here is the link to a Jesse Tree that we recommend.  There are a bunch out there so make sure you look carefully to see if you like the one you are choosing...

Jesse Tree Link

Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas Traditions - (Part 3)

"Joy to the world, the Lord is come
Let earth receive her king.
Let every heart, prepare Him room,
and heaven and nature sing
and heaven and nature sing
and heaven, and heaven and nature sing"

Where in our daily life are we able to hear good, old-fashioned, Jesus-centered Christmas carols?  Sometime in November one of the music stations I check every now and then had switched to Christmas songs for the season.  Now it was shortly after Halloween and I thought, no thanks...too early.  Then about Thanksgiving as the "yuletide" spirit was coming upon me I checked back into the forementioned station.  "Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock..."  Then next up, a song I didn't recognize...  Over the next couple days I would check in and sure enough...not one REAL Christmas Carol. 

Last year Julie and I decided we wanted to be a family that knows and sings all the cool Christmas carols.  So I got on line and began copying and pasting the lyrics to various Christmas carols and placed them in 2 column format on a Word document.  We included 15 or so songs, printed out multiple copies and each night after our "Jesse Tree" time, we would end the evening singing 2 or 3 carols off of the song sheet.  I am not a great singer but I can lead some caroling and as long as you don't start too low or too high with your first note, you can sing a song and it doesn't sound all that bad.

After just a few nights we knew we had a winning tradition in this one.  How many families sing together these days???  It is like something out of a Norman Rockwell picture from the days of radio theater and the 1930s.  Yet, we Zilkies, never afraid to be the contrarians, continued it again this year as well.  Jonathan is now reading the words and both he and David are singing stronger and better each night.   And Sweet Caroline...she loves "Go Tell It On A Mountain" and has a little dance she does as we sing. 

Seriously, it only gets better as we learn the verses of the songs and improve in our singing.  Be careful, one of these days the Zilkies may end up on your front porch singing your favorite Christmas carol.  Just ask our new neighbors here in Affton. :-)

*If this idea/tradition interests you, it really is easy.   If you need help with the singing, download a bunch of carols onto your iPod or mp3 player and let them help you as you sing.  If you are looking for some fun and meaningful traditions for the family, singing carols together is a must.  If you ever come to the Zilkies during the month of December, you will be able to join us for an evening of the Jesse Tree and some singing of carols as well.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Christmas Traditions - (Part 2)

Several years ago Julie began looking for some creative ways to add some family traditions to our celebration of Christmas.  Neither of us really came from families that did much more than the usual...tree, gifts, church, etc., and we wanted something more meaningful for our children.  As Julie researched, she found something called  "The Jesse Tree".  What is the Jesse Tree you may ask?  Well there are many different styles and versions, but, in general, it is a daily journey through the Old Testament-- from Genesis to the birth of Jesus Christ, beginning on December 1st and ending on Christmas day.  (It is often in line with the Advent season which celebrates the four Sundays prior to Christmas through the lighting of candles and remembering the Christmas story.)  For the Zilkies there are three main parts which we do every day (if at all possible) for all 25 days.

Part One is the reading of a passage of Scripture to the family.  The passage is predetermined by our version of the Jesse Tree and has a corresponding picture which we have had laminated and made into Christmas ornaments.  Sitting down as a family and reading the Bible together is so important, the most important thing we do.  In doing so, we as a family stop and recognize the sovereignty of God and rule of Jesus Christ and His word in our family.  One can never underestimate the power of God's word, and you never know what kind of impact the Holy Spirit can have on your children when they hear God's word.  This can be especially powerful when read by mom or dad and in a family setting.

Part Two is the discussion that takes place after reading.  A great practice for reading to children is to have them repeat back to you the details of the passage or story you just read to them.  This is a great developmental tool for children and it also reinforces the passage and its details in the mind and heart of the children.  We are thus able to see if the child or children correctly understands what was just read.  If not, it allows us the opportunity to clarify and reexplain the passage or story in terms they can understand. 

After the passage is read and understood, the next question is "How does this passage or story point to Jesus Christ?"  This is the fun part because the Old Testament has hundreds of references, inferences, and prophecies about Jesus Christ throughout the 39 books.  For example, when we read in the book of Joshua about the story of Rahab and the fall of Jericho, is there any correlation to the "scarlet cord" hanging out her window which will save all persons inside and the (scarlet) blood of Jesus flowing from His body which has the power to save us from our sins?  Or in Genesis 12, when God makes His unconditional convenant with Abraham and states therein that "all the families of the world will be blessed through you", who or what is He talking about?  How could the whole world be blessed through Abraham and his descendants???  ***The children are fascinated to learn that biblical events from long before Jesus was born point in many different ways to the coming of Jesus and His ministry purpose here on earth...they LOVE learning about it!!!

Part Three involves taking the ornament/picture of the day which has been hidden in Papa's Bible up to this point and hanging it on the tree.  I like to ask the children if they remember what picture is on the ornament for that day from doing it the previous year.  We play this game where they usually guess the right picture, such as a scarlet cord on the day we read about Rahab, and I will say after we are done reading "Alright, who gets to come hang the picture of the crumbling walls of Jericho?"  They roll their eyes and scream out "Nooooo, its a picture of the scarlet cord!!!"  It sounds cheesy but they fall for it every time and I laugh every time.  They get so excited to hang the picture on the tree and take turns doing so each day.

Sitting down as a family and reading God's word together is a practice that seems to be lost or crowded out in our families today.  This is sad and really is a loss in our efforts to raise up spiritual young men and women with strong Christian character.  Julie and I have been doing this over Christmas for several years now and the family loves it.  By the time Christmas comes, we wonder why we don't do this in some capacity all year round?  We enjoy it, the children enjoy it as long as I put some energy and passion into the reading and discussion, and God is honored by it for sure.  So at the conclusion of Advent this year, we are going to seek to continue the daily reading of the Word in our family, as a family.



You can find a FREE download of the Jesse Tree by Ann Voskamp at her blog www.aholyexperience.com.    It is located in the November 28th 2010 entry, as well as other places at her blog.  It is wonderful, and so is Ann!!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Christmas Traditions - (Part 1)

In the almost nine years Julie and I have been married (our anniversary being on the 29th of December), each Christmas has brought an increasing level of importance. During our 1st Christmas we had just moved from Detroit to Grand Rapids, were pregnant with David, and were about to celebrate our first anniversary.  I still remember getting the tree and dragging it home on top of the old white 1989 Ford Crown Victoria (that hood really seemed to go on forever).  Being just the two of us we decorated the tree, got each other some presents and Christmas came and went.  Then the next year we now had a third Zilkie and it was David's first Christmas.  Once again we got a real tree and this time we seemed to pay extra attention to the holiday because it was David's first Christmas.  In fact we still have video of him licking the wrapping paper of the gifts he had received.

Each year since as our children have grown in maturity and understanding, and as we have added to the number of children we have (yes we know how that happens), Christmas has grown in importance.  My ability to see Christmas through their eyes with all of its joy and wonder has been a major component of that growth.  As Julie and I reflected back on our childhoods and the various Christmas traditions we had when we were little we wanted to build many, many of our own traditions that our children would look back on fondly and remember.  For us Zilkies, Christmas now begins long before Christmas day or Christmas Eve even.  Christmas begins the weekend after Thanksgiving when we get out the tree (we stopped buying fresh in 2004 and found a GREAT artificial tree which we still use today) and begin decorating it together.  The children love this and each year we add meaningful and sentimental ornaments commemerating our children and the stages of life they find themselves in each particular year.

For example, several years ago Julie baked some gingerbread men and then coated them in some kind of preservant so that they could hang as ornaments and last over the years.  Well, when Jonathan was almost 2 back in 2005 he took a bite out of one of those "cookies".  This year as we once again hung the one-legged gingerbread man we were able to remember back and remind Jonathan, who is now almost 6, that he ate the leg off 4 years ago.  It provided a wonderful laugh and brought a sheepish smile to his face.  Caroline however, then wanted to eat the other leg and the two legs off the other gingerbread man as well.  We had to gently yet firmly instruct her that this should not happen and that it would not be nearly as funny either.

The tree is now up, looking almost the same as it has each year and we love it.  Our children are going to grow up and remember what our/their tree looks like and it will bring them much joy when they return and see it then the same as it was when they were children.  In the meantime, we are vigilantly watching the gingerbread men ornaments, hoping their remaining legs persevere another Christmas season.