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The Narrow Path

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Car Has Been Found

On Monday morning at 9:30 we received a call that our car had been found in University City, a northern burb just outside the city limits of St. Louis. I called the lot and they said they were closed, but I could pick it up tomorrow. Feeling a little saddened by the whole ordeal, I packed up David, Jonathan, and Caroline and we went on a little adventure. First we had to go to the City Police to verify that the vehicle status was changed so that we could in fact take it from the lot. Next we went ahead and drove up to see the vehicle, knowing that it was Memorial Day and that I wasn't going to get the vehicle. When the officer saw the kids he said, "Are you taking them up to get the vehicle? That's not a very good part of town, then again would a good part of town have an impound lot?" I said good point, but figured we would be fine early on a holiday morning.

When we got to the lot I could see the vehicle through the fence and it looked okay. In fact I was a little sad to have to leave it there overnight, like it was a family pet or something who would be lonely without us. So Tuesday morning I got a ride up to the lot and found out I had to pay $120 to have them release my vehicle which was stolen from me. Their consolation to me was, "Your insurance will cover it." My response to them was, who keeps full coverage on a 12 year old vehicle with 170,000 miles? The car wasn't valuable monetarily, but it was a good car and has/had another 30,000 miles in it before the theft.

After paying the "grand theft auto tax" to get my car back I walked out to it and finally saw the real condition of the car. Outside it was okay. Inside...trashed. There was garbage all over, my prescription sunglasses were all busted up in pieces on the floor. My ignition and console were ripped out and my radio had been forcefully removed as well. To top it all off, the police had dusted for prints and there was this silver dust all over the inside of the vehicle which was rubbing off on me and anyone else who had to get inside. With a melancholy spirit I drove the vehicle to an auto repair shop near our house to get some specifics on the damage. I had figured $200-$400 for the console, $100 for a new radio, and $100 for a good cleaning and detailing for the interior. Well I was right on all of those estimates, except that I missed the $500 charge to fix the wiring and tubing damage that was caused to the car when they ripped out the radio. All toll, the repairs on the vehicle will be around $1,000. Our vehicle bluebooks at around $1400 and we have minimal liability so there is no coverage for our situation.

From the moment this all happened, Julie and I prayed and acknowledged that this was permitted by God and in reality was not a huge deal. Life is filled with trouble and we have had it very good these past many years. We don't go looking for problems, but recognize that injustice and suffering is part of a fallen world and how are we going to respond? I am getting a 2nd estimate on the repairs, but we are likely a one vehicle family now and that is okay. We will pray and ask God what He would desire of us in this situation and we will praise Him along the way. I have had many offers of help in this time and am grateful for them all, but often I will just react to try to fix my situation and sometimes that is not what God desires. This time we may need help as well, but first we will pray and ask God for His guidance and provision for our lives. Part of coming to St. Louis was a desire to trust God and learn to walk with Him more closely. I pray most of all that this would become our reality.

It is challenging to acknowledge and live in the hurt and disappointment of life while still remembering what really matters and realizing how blessed we all are. It is the tension between being present and engaged in our earthly life while always remembering where our true citizenship lies. We want to be honest about our sadness and yet we are thankful for the whole ordeal as it has showed us just how much we can hold onto earthly things. We Americans have so much security and stability compared to the rest of the world. I have dear brothers and sisters in Christ in Zimbabwe who have no control and are at the mercy of various gangs and corrupt civil authorities every day of their lives. Injustice reigns and they are asked to love their enemies much more often and directly than I am. They manage to live with a winsomeness and trust in God that I could only imagine in their circumstances.

Most importantly, losing our car has shown us that we are still in the middle of a battle, a battle of good versus evil. Many people, and many Christians, minimize the role of evil in the world. Evil is some abstract thing that bumps up against us every now and then. On the contrary, evil is alive and very present in our daily lives, whether we recognize it or not. In fact, this weekend I am preaching for the first time since arriving at Rooftop and I will be preaching on "Overcoming Evil With Good". The more I pray and prepare for this message, the more I realize that evil is being done to people and especially the people of God. Sometimes evil is done to the people of God by the people of God which is truly sad and a shame. However, the real question is, how are we going to respond to it?

I hope to have an answer for you by Sunday. In the meantime, your prayers for our family as we consider our long term plan would be appreciated. Also, pray for our protection and surrender to the will of God in our lives, whatever might come along.

"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. And perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let them ask of God who gives to all people generously, without finding fault, and it will be given to them." James 1:2-5

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

This past couple months has brought a bunch of "firsts" into my life. We sold our first home after owning and living in it for over seven years. While dropping off our Dodge Stratus here in St. Louis my luggage was lost on the flight back, which was a first for me after close to a hundred flights in my life. I moved out of state with a family for the first time. While driving to St. Louis we had a child throw up in our car for the first time. We are renting a house for the first time. The family went to the zoo for free for the first time. (The boys want to go back often since there is no admission charge). And tonight around a quarter after eleven, that same 1997 Dodge Stratus was stolen from out in front of our house...the first time a car of mine was ever stolen.

I walked out to do some late night grocery shopping for breakfast tomorrow and the car wasn't there. Many of you have had that moment when your car is not where you thought it should be and you ask yourself, "Did I leave it somewhere?" "Did Julie drive it and park it elsewhere?" Ironically, we had some friends over and watched them go out to their car at around 10:45 p.m. When I went out around 11:45 to run to the store real quick, the car wasn't there. When I told Julie she said she heard the car start around 11:15 but thought it was me going to the store. What timing...

Julie bought this car brand new 12 years ago and it has been a good car for us over the years. In its present condition with the broken driver side mirror, broken hood latch, wired on front fender, mild oil leak and subsequent engine knock is worth about $1100...maybe. It wasn't much to look at, but it was low maintenance, it was a smooth ride, and it was ours. When Officer Weber arrived he told me that Dodge and Chrysler vehicles are ripped off all the time in our part of town. Kids from outside the area come around and look for the easiest car to break into and then drive it off until it runs out of gas. Sometimes they are recovered with just the handle and ignition broken, some times worse. Either way, with our very limited insurance, we are out of pocket to repair it or replace it. It was 12 years old.

As Julie and I looked at each other and realized what had happened we stopped and prayed. We thanked God for His faithfulness to us, for his provision and protection each day of our lives. We realize that "we are not in Kansas anymore" but rather we are next door in Missouri, and St. Louis for that matter. Ironically I have been having these small debates with some Rooftoppers about whose crime problems are worse, St. Louis or Detroit? Honestly, I have been persuaded a little more this evening. Julie and I believe deeply of our calling here to St. Louis and to Rooftop Community Church. Tonight is just confirmation and an opportunity to live open-handedly, with a heart focused on Jesus and His Kingdom. Everything else will pass away, including the mostly plastic, partially metal, beat up Dodge Stratus that some confused and hurting people are joy-riding around St. Louis right now at 1:15 am. I pray for them and that God can and will take this situation and bring glory to Himself.

Finally, how does one go to sleep after they find out their car was just stolen??? I guess I'll find this out for the first time as well.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

100 Days (Update)

With all of the "hoopla" over the new administrations first 100 days, why not give my own 100 Days update??? So here goes my first installment...

May 19th (19 Days) - It has been almost 3 weeks since we arrived here in St. Louis and we are settling in quite nicely. The family is doing well, David celebrated his 7th birthday at the zoo last Friday. He and Jonathan loved it and more frequent visits will only increase their love of animals and zoology. We continue to settle into our temporary home as I cleaned up and organized the boxes in our upstairs room, leaving only the basement to yet be organized. Last night we had our second dinner guest, a young woman who attends Rooftop and had a delightful time opening up our home and getting to know her better in the process. We have had several Rooftoppers stop over to visit and have greatly enjoyed our time spent with them.

I have had numerous meetings with ministry team leaders and small group leaders here at Rooftop and have enjoyed each of them tremendously. My schedule is filling up with such appointments. A note of caution...I need to be careful not to allow the shared meals to add to my weight. During my 5 years at Kentwood and all of the "ministry meals" I went from 185 to 225 lbs. (Rooftoppers please do not be offended if when we meet it is over coffee a, a cold glass of water, and possibly some celery)

I really enjoy working with Matt and Jason and appreciate all of the work and effort they have given and continue to give to God and the Rooftop community. I am excited to be a part of this staff, sharing in the opportunities to serve the community alongside them. My first preaching opportunity will be Sunday, May 31st while Matt attends some classes for school. I am very much looking forward to the opportunities to share with my brothers and sisters as we gather together on Sunday morning as a family of Christ followers. Also, I am working with Jason in planning the worship event called "The Boiler Room" taking place on Saturday, June 6th. ***If you are able to attend, we would LOVE to have you join us for this evening of setting our busyness aside and just focusing on God.

Julie is adjusting well and attending a women's event this evening while I watch the kids and listen to some Red Wings playoff hockey. We are wanting to reestablish more systems for our family, like we had in Michigan, which will help provide more structure for our day...but those will come in time.

All in all, the first 19 days has gone well and from what I can tell have been a success. The best part of all is the opportunity I have every day to meet people and see just what God has been doing and continues to do in the lives of people here at Rooftop. This is one of my greatest passions and one of the most enjoyable aspects of ministry. God and Rooftop have not disappointed and I look forward to the many days ahead.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Wisdom For Acquiring Wisdom

Back in the summer of 1992 while working as a counselor for a boys camp in West Michigan, I was introduced to a method of reading and studying the Bible. The man who shared this with me had been a leader in this ministry when I was a boy and was still serving ten years later. I don't remember his name, but I remember he was from Flint and he would lead a Bible study for all the staff who wanted to come early each morning. Being the zealous person that I am, I was up every morning I could, attending his Bible study.

His study was different for me at that stage in life. Rather then read Old Testament stories or from the Gospels, we would read the chapter of Proverbs that coincided with the day of the month it was. You see, Proverbs has 31 chapters and fits very well in a chapter a day for a month study plan. Moreover, we would sit there together and read the proverb of the day slowly and discuss what we had read and what we thought the wise author was trying communicate. This format was both new and very engaging. Proverbs is fairly easy to read and yet is filled with all kinds of wisdom and insight concerning life and communion with God. I began this Proverbs study journey sporadically for years to come. Often I would begin my reading time each day with the Proverb of they day, my journal, and asking the Holy Spirit to highlight one verse or truth from the 20-30 verses in each chapter that He wanted me to meditate upon that day. This has been a great help for me over the years as I have sought to walk with God and I feel that God has granted me much wisdom through my reading of Proverbs and asking him for wisdom as I read. (See James 1:2-5)

Well the other day, here in St. Louis in my new office area down in the basement I opened up my 14 year old Bible to the book of Proverbs. I had not used this Bible in some time and was surprised to see all of the lines, markings, and notes I had written over all the years in the Proverbs. It comforted me in that it reminded me that slowly over the years, I had been investing my mind and heart in the wisdom of God and that there had been a generous reward given to me in that pursuit. I love the Proverbs and I love the wisdom of God. If you have not read it in a while, check the calender for the day of the month. Open your Bible to the Proverbs chapter of the day and read the chapter slowly praying "Holy Spirit, please open my mind and heart to one truth you want me to dwell upon today." God will not disappoint you in this request and you will have been blessed by reading God's word for yourself.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Our New Home...For Now

It is Saturday evening and we are getting ready for our second Sunday here in St. Louis. Tomorrow Julie and I will be interviewed by Matt Herndon (the Lead Pastor at Rooftop) during both services. In the meantime, we are getting settled into our new home and really enjoying life here in the city of St. Louis. Our house is small for a family of 7, but we are managing okay. We love our neighbors and the street we live on. The houses are beautiful and I have walked up to the local hardware store multiple times with the boys in the 10 days we have been here.

A fellow Rooftopper Hudson stopped over earlier this week and took some pictures of our family and our home.





Here is a shot of our back yard and the alley that runs behind it...

...it is small, but the kids manage well and unlike our home in Grand Rapids, we have a finished basement for them to play in.

Our new home...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Living in the Dark Ages

It is amazing to see how much our lives have changed over the past 10-15 years. Since the beginning of our move 10 days ago, we Zilkies have been without phone and Internet access here in our St. Louis home. I have had my mobile phone from Rooftop (our new church) and have had occasional access to free internet and wifi, but not from our home. Sadly, this has caused some level of stress in our lives and especially during our move. It is not easy to be in a new home in a new city with 5 children 6 years and under and have no way to talk or communicate outside of the home.

Back in December we had a virus which shut down our computer for a week, but we still had our phone and we were just living life in Michigan waiting on God to move as he has in the months since. This was a good time for me as I read more, went to bed earlier, spent more time reading God's word and praying more. Julie herself commented at that time on how much she enjoyed the changes forced upon us. However, after 5 days or so the computer was fixed and life continued on.

These days however, everything is in flux and not having a phone or web access at home feels debilitating. In reality, it was not as bad as it seemed and was a great opportunity to slow down and think, creating space for me to be with God, family, and to meditate on all that God is doing presently in my life. It was challenging on Julie as well as she was usually the one left behind without a means of communication. Honestly, some times I took advantage and benefited greatly from taking the time to slow down. Other times however, I would drive around at night looking for wifi spots where I could see who emailed me that day.

As we settle into life here in St. Louis and back into vocational ministry, my most important goal and greatest challenge will be to resist the temptation to be too busy with "stuff", such as email, the internet, Facebook, this blog, and everything else. This stuff is not bad, but can quickly and easily drown out God and the voice of the Holy Spirit in my life. This happened at my last church and was detrimental to my relationship and intimacy with God and His Spirit. I want to live and be God's man here in St. Louis, building His kingdom, pouring my life out for my brothers and sisters in Christ , and also to be a light and unapologetic voice for the gospel of Jesus Christ to the people of St. Louis who have yet to follow Jesus Christ. To do this I must protect and care for that which is most important in my life...my daily relationship with God and sensitivity to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Life on the River (the Mississippis River if you weren't sure)

It is almost midnight Saturday morning and I am finally able to get away to the office/building to do some work and get caught up with my correspondence. Update from the last week:

Sunday - Had a great crew of friends and neighbors, our brothers and sisters in Christ, show up to help out with the loading of the truck. Got everything packed up and slept on the dining room floor of our empty home, our last night at 512 E. Main St. in Caledonia. We spent 8 years in that home, had 5 children there, and had a ton of life experiences. It was great to reflect with Julie about God's faithfulness during those years.

Monday - Woke up and finally got my Uhaul trailer on the third attempt. Filled the trailer, said good bye to the home and drove an hour south to our friends home near South Haven to stay a couple nights.

Tuesday - Our dear friends Brant and Mary came out with their boys (Dawson, Braydon, and Hutch) and spent the afternoon and evening with us.

Wednesday - Packed up the Uhaul again, said good bye to our friends and began the drive to St. Louis at 9:30 am Central Standard Time. We made decent time with the boys cheering when we crossed from Michigan into Indiana and again when we crossed from Indiana into Illinois. I remember being young and how cool it was to drive from one state to the next. At 6 pm about 30 minutes outside St. Louis, the Mississippi, and the Missouri state line...Caroline "gave back" her sandwich from lunch along with remnants of the huge bowl of BLUE MOON ice cream from the night before. Combine this with the red coloring from the drink she drank some of and well... Luckily we were only 1 mile from a rest stop on I-70 in southern Illinois and pulled in there to clean her and the van before continuing...so there I was in this dungeonesque janitor's closet scrubbing out the colorful stains in Caroline's clothes and her car seat. Finally, we hit the road, grabbed a bite to eat (except for Caroline) and were welcomed by my fellow staff members at Rooftop and their beautiful families. That night we again slept on the floor, this time in our new home, waiting for our stuff to arrive the next day.

Thursday - The trailer is delivered, but the house we are staying in needs to be inspected by the city first and so we have to wait until 3 pm to begin unloading. Rooftoppers begin showing up around 3 (thanks Bonnie and Jason) and more and more show up throughout the evening. Eventually, we have more people than we can give stuff to and the trailer is cleared in no time. Meanwhile, some guys are putting together the crib, some ladies are helping Julie organize the kitchen, and others are helping organize the many items sent to the garage for temporary storage. Julie and I were so blessed by our new church community and friends as we were blessed by our church community and friends which we left in Grand Rapids. The bonds of our faith in Christ are strong and endure whatever location you may find yourself. Thursday night we slept in our own bed and loved it!!!

Friday - Today we returned the small trailer to Uhaul. They came and towed away the large trailer. I had my first official Rooftop meeting over lunch up in Clayton, which is the finance district of St. Louis if you didn't already know that. I spent most the rest of the day helping unpack at home and spending time with Julie and the kids. Then after everyone went to bed I headed off to the church building and my new office to start getting caught on my admin, correspondence, and begin planning the days and weeks to come.

Who would have thought 5 weeks ago that we would sell our home, find a month to month rental, have a baby, move our family, and be ready to go May 1st here at Rooftop Community Church. God's grace has been felt and is deeply appreciated by our family. We look forward to relying more and more on God's grace as we continue building our life here and the relationships which are so vital to our lives and the building of the kingdom of God here in St. Louis. I am so thankful to God for His faithfulness after 2 1/2 years of waiting on him, and trusting that He in His time would lead us exactly where He wanted us to go.