How Not To Sell A House In 4 Days

In my previous post "4 Days" we talked about the quick sale of our house and how we sense God's leading therein. Well that was not the whole story...

Julie and I had been working for a couple weeks on the house to get it ready for sale. There were 8 years worth of little projects we had thought of doing, but never did that were compressed into two weeks time. On Thursday, March 12 our house officially went up for sale and appeared on MLS or whatever it is called. Now our work list was still not complete at this time and we continued working on it even as the sign went up in the front lawn. On Friday our Realtor, Eric Freeman of Pillar Realty contacted us about our first walk-through which was to take place on Saturday evening. Normally people will leave their home during a viewing, giving any prospective buyers a quiet and comfortable setting to view the home. Well, when you have 4 and 7/8 kids, getting out of the home is not so easy. So we planned to go for a walk Saturday evening while the viewing took place.

All day Saturday we spent time finishing up our list and getting the home ready for our first viewing. As 6:30 came close, Julie put some soothing instrumental music on the iPod in the living room and we began getting the crew out of the house and on our way. Well, for those of you who have multiple children, you know this is easier said than done. The two older boys are pretty self sufficient these days in getting their bikes, but Caroline (3) and Ezekiel (16 months) require a little more assistance getting into the double stroller. Add to that the beautiful, talented, and very pregnant Julie whose days of fluid movement have long since passed and you have a very sloooow progression out of the garage, down the driveway and onto the sidewalk...

About 1/3 of the way down the driveway the first car pulls in and I am thinking "oh crap, we didn't make it". Then all of a sudden this (even more pregnant than Julie) woman gets out of her car and we realize it is the other Realtor. She sees Julie and runs up all excited saying, "oh you are almost having a baby too!!!, my due date is actually today and I am showing a house...yada, yada, yada" Anyway, after a minute or two of pregnancy talk, we continue SLOWLY down the drive way and then the second car pulls in with a young couple and an older couple inside...I think "crap, we missed it again"...

As they are getting out of the car while we are walking by, the middle-aged woman says very emphatically, "Julie!!!" Julie then returns the enthusiasm and says, "Karen!!!" They hug each other and feeling very left out at this point and a little confused, I pipe in with "why don't I know you???" Julie then realizes the inequity of the current social interaction and mentions that she used to work with Karen way back 7 years ago when we first moved to our home in Caledonia. We come to find out that Karen's daughter and son-in-law are newly married and are looking for a starter home (like we were at that very same point in our marriage). This is where the real problem begins...

Up until that time I was pretty focused and aware of what needed and didn't need to happen during this first viewing. However, with all of the commotion and reunions going on, I got distracted. Moreover, I began getting too comfortable with all of the chit-chat and warmth that was taking place before our home even got looked at. It was here that the real Jeremy Zilkie began to come out....

Seeing the "coincidences" and obvious peculiarities about the whole viewing appointment I began thinking (very quickly as I often do) and thought I would inject a little humor and light-heartedness into all that was taking place (since I was the one person not presently included in the many varied conversations). Karen happened to say when she looked at a very pregnant Julie and our four children, "boy, you have been busy!" Well this was my opportunity...loving our kids, our family, and thinking that everyone loves some big family humor, I begin articulating the phrase "Be careful, if you buy this place you too could end up with 5 kids in 8 years" However, as I began saying the words some other thoughts crept into my mind...words of sensibility and wisdom...phrases like: What if they don't want a big family? What if they aren't really big on children? What if they can't have children? Is it really worth being witty and a little funny with these people if you possibly offend them and jeopardize their viewing of your home???

Unfortunately this sensibility did not set in until after a couple words did escape from my mouth, the words "Be careful...", and me being me, I didn't exactly whisper them. Well everyone stops and looks at me as I am now silent and realizing what I have just said. Having raised the general curiosity level of everyone present with my provocative statement, one of the members of the buying party says "Be careful about what?" Completely stupefied and without anything to say to try to recover I quickly stammer the words, "never mind..." and leave my "be careful" comment hanging out there all by itself...

Well at this point, to no one's suprise, the conversations have come to an abrupt end and our family began the slooooow march up the street. Yet, my mind continued..."be careful? be careful?" "What did they think I meant? Why would the owner of the home (me) tell them (the prospective buyers) to be careful and then say 'never mind'?" "They must be thinking something is wrong with the house or I am trying to hide something or who knows what?" I begin to feel an ache in my gut as we continue sauntering along the sidewalk. Julie then inquires what I was talking about when I said what I said. Feeling horrible, not wanting to make her anxious and knowing I might as well have left one of Zeke's dirty diapers on the floor of the kitchen during their viewing, I tell her "nothing, don't worry about it", and we continue on. Well I did worry about it for the next 30 minutes, metaphorically kicking myself as we slowly walked around ONE block in our neighborhood as they looked at the house.

Interestingly enough, this whole time Julie is talking about how sure she is they will love the home, how neat it was to see Karen, how she thinks they will make us an offer and they will probably end up buying our home. I on the other hand, though I am smiling and nodding, know in my mind and heart the metaphorical grenade I threw into the evenings festivities. As we walked I just kept thinking to myself what many others have probably thought of me at one point or another, "Jeremy, you Moron! Why couldn't you just keep quiet?"

When we got back to the house they were gone and our evening went on as normal. When we got the call from Eric the next day with an offer, I was TRULY surprised. It had to be a miracle and an act of God for them to overlook my moronic statement and to love our home as they obviously do. So for those of you who saw God in our home selling in 4 days, consider my contributions on that Saturday evening and be even more amazed.