Father's Day

Yesterday, our country/culture celebrated Father's Day as we do in June of every year.  Each year this holiday makes me stop and think about what it means to be a father.  As with all of us, my first thoughts go to my own father David Zilkie, son of Samuel and Vivian Zilkie.  My father was born during World War 2 and had his own issues and struggles during his adolescent years.  I do not think Grandpa Sam was all that communicative and he died in 1969, when my dad was in his twenties.  My dad (David) was a good and humble man who wanted to help and do the right thing in his life.  However, he was not an ambitious man and pretty much accepted life as it came to him, the good and the bad. 

As I reflect on my father and his influence in my life, his easy-going and often passive approach to life left many gaps in my adolescence and those developmental years.  (Isn't it interesting how the sins and flaws of the father are passed on to their children one way or another, as he did not receive much from his father from what I can learn.)  Well, in the world of Romeo, Michigan in the 1980s I needed more than I received.  In 1993, at 19 I mourned the death of my father and began to really think about my future family.  I remember determining that I did not want to leave so many gaps in the lives of my children should God bless me with a family of my own. 

Fast-forward to today, I am the father of 5 children ages 8 and under and I love the life God has given me.  I see each child developing their own strengths, personalities, love languages, sinful tendencies, and more.  Although Julie is the primary care provider for all our children day to day, I know from personal experience in addition to numerous studies and surveys that my role as father to my children is without comparison the most influential role in their lives.  My choices for good or for bad will resonate with them for the remainder of their lives and their identity and value is primarily drawn from my influence therein. 

So fathers, I want to encourage and exhort you to enter into the life of your children.  Be mindful to lead in your home whenever possible, even if your wife is capable of leading without you.  Take the initiative to pray at meal times and at other times, setting the example of a spiritual leader...even if you are not yet the leader you want or need to be.  Speak of the Scriptures and the importance of God in your life, even if it is not normal or comfortable for you.  Connect for them the word of God to everyday life since nobody else is speaking these important truths to them. 

Also, true masculinity is under assault and our boys need to see leadership from their fathers whenever possible.  Our daughters need to see men lead well so that they will know who to look for in selecting their future husband and they will hopefully find a man who is strong and worthy of their heart and hand in marriage.  Also, our love and affection to our daughters will actually delay their natural desire to pursue male relationships until later in their teen years when they are wiser and their potential boy friends are a little wiser and more mature as well.

These are just some thoughts from the heart of a very passionate and zealous father.  If as a father, you are not sure how you can learn and become the father you want to be, consider me...   I was not given the example of an engaged, communicative, or active father though he was a Christian and generally good man.  I have had to learn how to become the father I am even as I have so much further to go.  You too can learn and grow as a father if you will seek after wisdom and knowledge from those who are a step or two ahead of where you might be.  Ironically, our humility and willingness to be a "learner" is one of the greatest characteristics we can model to our children.

Happy Father's Day to all of you dads out there.  Let's embrace the influence and authority God has given us as earthly models and representations of Him as our Heavenly Father.  We have the promise of his grace for when we fall short and fail, and we have the promise of His Spirit to lead us and show us the way.