End Of Day Update - Day 1

Whew!!!  What a day.  I can say that neither Julie nor I went to bed last night with any idea of what today would bring.  We had 3 miscarriages the past 3 years, but this pregnancy had been going so smoothly up to this point.  We got through our first trimester just fine, reached the 20 week point and had our ultrasound...everything looked great and this child had a nice healthy big head like its Papa.  We were gearing up for the uncomfortable 3rd trimester in the Missouri summer heat, but felt as if we were in the clear regarding the health of Julie and the baby.


Then Julie's water broke this morning and that all changed.  I shared details about the early part of our day in the previous two blogs and now want to give you all an evening update.  Although nobody is certain of exact causes or sequence of events within the womb, this is what the doctors know and have shared with us.  For those of you who have waited for more details, here they come...

1) Julie had a ton (figurative) of fluid in her womb.  So much so that after all the leaking today, she is still way up on the normal scale of fluid levels.  Why she has so much fluid, the doctor said he can't be certain.  Some of the common causes are gestational diabetes which can develop during pregnancy and produces fluid; something could be wrong health wise with the baby and the body produces extra fluid as a result; and sometimes there is just extra fluid because there is.  Whatever the cause, it is possible that this excess fluid in the womb made the water membranes more susceptible to popping, breaking, or leaking.  Ironically, we have friends whose baby is in trouble in the womb because of a lack of fluid whereas we have a baby in the womb who is in trouble because of an excess of fluid.

2) Due to the fact that her bag of waters continues to leak even as Julie and the baby produce more fluid each day, that puts the baby in jeopardy should it ever recede to a level that is too low.  If and when the fluid were to drop too low (and this is what we are praying against) then it would force the baby closer to the placenta as the womb shrinks, and the umbilical cord would eventually be squeezed in that scenario.  This would cause the baby's heart to drop quickly and place the baby in grave danger.  This means that Julie needs to be monitored continually for the duration of her pregnancy and at least semi-regularly in the future under a best case scenario.

3) According to our perinatal doctor, babies born between 24 and 28 weeks have a 30% mortality rate, than means 30% die after birth and 40% survive, but do so incurring some type of significant disease or malady such as cerebral palsy or mental retardation.  Although Julie and I are not afraid of this outcome and ultimately trust the Lord to bring us our baby in the fashion He desires and sees best for our family and life in this world, we pray and desire for the healthiest baby possible with minimal to no long term effects coming from birth.  This being said, we need the baby to stay in the womb for 4 more weeks minimum, to 28 weeks, in order to avoid the most sever danger zone regarding long term health risk.  This date would be Sunday, July 1st and that is our 1st benchmark/goal, and prayer request.  Were the fluid to drop at any point, and the cord squeezed, the baby would have to be delivered immediately via c-section and womb development and protection therein would cease.

4)  In order to reduce the likelihood for premature birth since the membranes have already broken, and to provide the baby the immediate intensive care they need should it happen, Julie needs to be under constant supervision and care and will spend every moment of every day over the next 2 to 3 months (hopefully) in the hospital (St. Johns - Mercy) as they do everything in their power to help the baby grow and stay put inside Mama.  Julie will not see the our home again until that time unless the baby is born, against our desires and efforts, prematurely.  Even then, Mama will continue to be in the hospital with the baby in its weakened and vulnerable condition so...Julie will be there regardless for several months.

5)  We are not at all discouraged about this prospect or the journey ahead at this time.  The day may come soon when discouragement creeps in, but on Day 1 we are faring pretty well. :-)  That being said, our lives have radically changed in 24 hours as I have become an instantaneous and functional single parent caring for five children 10 years and under...while trying to keep my other responsibilities and commitments going as best as possible considering the circumstances.  Personally, I believe God is going to challenge and grow me, Julie, our children, and others through this trial.  James 1:2-4 says the following (NIV):

"Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  And perseverance must finish its work so that you can be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

What a great verse and promise from God!!!


What will our future entail?

• Allowing the children to visit Mama in the hospital regularly in order to keep their spirits up and hers as well.  The prospect of a mother suddenly being separated from her young children for 3 months is very difficult to process and accept.  On Day 1 Julie is handling the prospect with many tears but quite well.  Regular visits to see Mama will help the children process her absence and keep her in the best possible state of body and mind which is necessary for the health and well being of Zilkie Baby #6.  For those of you wondering how you might help (thanks for already asking), this will require a lot of driving in the van (which we don't do) and is not something we budgeted for.  Gas cards for our 12 seated van would be a tangible help.

• I am going to talk to our church Rooftop, who have been very generous and gracious with us during our time here, and try to work something out so I can continue working throughout the summer.  In order to do that as best as possible, we will need some help watching our five children throughout the week and possibly weekends.  Our relatives in Michigan have already mentioned the possibility of coming and playing "Mom" for the kids so I can work, but this would only be 2-3 weeks out of the next 10-12 weeks that Julie will hopefully spend in the hospital.  We don't have specifics yet, but we Zilkies would welcome assistance in this area as we try to plan for our children and fulfill our normal responsibilities and make the most of our opportunities during this time.  A number of you have already offered to watch and/or care for our children and I would presume a more formal schedule will be put together this week hopefully.  Thanks again for this offer!

• Thank you to all of you who have already signed up for meals.  This is very helpful.  We may contact you to adjust dates depending on when family is in town helping out or if there are other schedule adjustments that would maximize that service and blessing to us.  

People have asked how they can tangibly help and sharing in this format is the best way to get the information out clearly and effectively.  Most of all, we value your love and prayers for our whole family.  Please do not give if not led to do so, but we did want to make our requests known to those of you who do.  We are so thankful for the grace, love and attention we have already been shown in Christ from friends and family.  Even as we struggle through the unknown future weeks, God is providing and will continue to " provide for all of our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Phil 4:19).

***Also, if you are a friend or family member who have additional questions about how things are going, please email me or leave a comment below.  I read all comments and would love to respond to and answer any questions you might have.

Thanks again for reading and praying for us.

Jeremy